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Exit Wounds
Contributed by
bobotheclown
on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 12:46:58 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Dilated pupils that reflect only fear
I can smell you, your so near
I hide, crippled by anxiety
Trapped within painting this solliloquy
My eyes are always closed, bound by failure
I've been pushed beyond what I can endure
And now from these wrists I bleed
Slamming home sorrow's seed
On depression's bile I choke
And in tears I have often awoke
Stapled to the cross of my loneliness
My fears taking forever to redress
Tormented by thoughts I cannot bare
Driven to a point where I no longer care
The stitches have come undone,
But my bloodloss forbids me to run
Exit wounds that tell of a time of weakness
My body crisscrossed with scars, countless
Exit wounds that forbid me to fly
And leave me, alone, to cry
Copyright ©
bobotheclown
... [
2004-11-20 00:46:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 02:17:26 AM AEST
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deep dark emotional torture....Excellent.
The Wind |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 02:19:45 AM AEST
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| for its genre..its really good. |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 04:11:30 AM AEST
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Very sad but written well.
Hope u feel better real soon.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 05:25:39 AM AEST
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This is such a powerfull write, very nicely composed.
Hugs,
Jane |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 06:44:31 AM AEST
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Such a powerful poem Joel,
Each word used described true agony with such pure detail,
You have put feeling into this write..painted in tears, so beautifully composed mate.
And dude just because i am leaving this site dont mean I wont be emailing you...lol No chance of that happening.
You take care dude always you hear.
Im only an email away.
Karl |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 07:35:20 AM AEST
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This is emotionally powerful. You are hard on mascara. I just feel like crying from the anguish emitting from your poem.
You have a remarkable way of taking the reader into the vortex of your emotions.
This is one to be proud of J.
Kie |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 07:48:58 AM AEST
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Very touching write, Joel.... It moved me to tears.
I hope you had a very Happy Birthday...looked for you yesterday but you were not around.... So I take it you were out having some fun....
Hope you had a drink for me...
Special Birthday Hugs and Kisses
Jenni |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 08:00:43 AM AEST
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You always find a way to let your emotions flow right into the soul of the reader. Such agony of the spirit........
Excellent dark write.
Barkeep!!
Larry |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 08:24:00 AM AEST
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powerful and expressed so well, great write Joel,
pixie xx |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by CrimsonTears on
Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 11:30:12 PM AEST
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this is such a powerful write....and so emotional...im sorry for the pain that you fell...but it has resullted int wonderful poetry....great write
Lots of Love
CrimsonTears |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by afraid_of_fear on
Monday, 22nd November 2004 @ 11:00:37 AM AEST
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So painful joel.. a beautiful write as always.. am sorry to have not kept up-to-date with your poetry on here; busy with photography and being back in the unit and stuff. hope you're well.
char xxx |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by Chanti on
Monday, 22nd November 2004 @ 09:51:39 PM AEST
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Somber, but beautiful as always. Good to read your work again.
-Chanti |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Tuesday, 23rd November 2004 @ 02:34:02 AM AEST
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| Though desparate and dark this is flawless emotional write..concluded well...very sorrowful but well done Joel...:-) venkat |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by Soulless on
Wednesday, 24th November 2004 @ 10:57:43 PM AEST
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Another amazing read. Whenever I want to read a good poem of torturment I can always count on you. This poem just screamed a bloody mess in my ear, I love your word usage to describe things. You carve these pieces perfectly.
Well done
Kisses,
~Soulless~ |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 27th November 2004 @ 04:03:05 AM AEST
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I really like the title. You knows it.
I'd like to use it, if you'll let me, as I was anticipating something a little less esoteric in this poem. I'd like to take another angle on it.
Good job, Joel. |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by Live2Die on
Sunday, 28th November 2004 @ 01:47:55 AM AEST
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| A very...amazing write. I really like it and it's title caught my attention. It's an amazing and powerful poem. |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 28th November 2004 @ 02:28:24 PM AEST
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beautifully written joel, so sad and very moving, hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by Deathly_Rose on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 08:30:18 AM AEST
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very discriptvie, and dark. Paints a vivid pictures among the readers mind.
very well described.
keep up the great work.
*~Alicia~* |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 08:21:04 PM AEST
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| woah. just..woah. that blows my mind, it's really good. wow. |
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Saturday, 11th December 2004 @ 11:02:21 AM AEST
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Excellent
what can I say that hasn't been said?
Crippled pilgrims salute you
and feel your pain.
The Wind.....
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Re: Exit Wounds
(User Rating: 1 )
by wyrd_faerie on
Tuesday, 4th January 2005 @ 12:07:17 PM AEST
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oh, joel.
honey, joel, you are so beautiful. and i don't think you even realise. your souls shines so bright sometimes it makes me close my eyes and cry. i hate that you hurt, i hate that you are scared.
hold onto all the good moments. because that's the only way. smile, darling. i know that life's hard, and i know that sometimes it's so difficult to see which direction to go, but i am here in your darkest times to help you. and bloodstains are just that; stains. they never go away completely, but they fade. and they stop hurting.
life will be good for you, honey. i promise you. a soul and a mind like yours cannot stay dark forever. there's a path mapped out for you, be brave and follow it. and every tear will turn into gold-dust, in the end.
i love you, eternally.
lucie xxx |
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