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This Isn't About Love Anymore
Contributed by
deadreckoning1983
on
Tuesday, 16th November 2004 @ 09:35:45 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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In the gand scheme of life
Where do I fit in?
Between the logrythm
And tangent expression?
Keeping the syringe next to the poison,
Just in case.
Synthetic synkaryon,
Using what we could to cling together.
Passing by in porcelain,
How pale your lovely face has become,
A chalk outline hovers near
Waiting to engulf you,
And the halo disappears in the dust.
Progressive destruction,
Like a bullfight, like a relationship, like war.
All I want is one last kiss before the poison takes effect.
So softly I can steal a part of you
Away with me.
Silently I will live on;
You, oblivious to an undying, passionate love.
Copyright ©
deadreckoning1983
... [
2004-11-16 21:35:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: This Isn't About Love Anymore
(User Rating: 1 )
by katyqueen35 on
Tuesday, 16th November 2004 @ 09:51:35 PM AEST
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This poem is very sad Dane..
Very well written ..
good job kiddo. |
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Re: This Isn't About Love Anymore
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Tuesday, 16th November 2004 @ 09:53:44 PM AEST
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Progressive destruction,
Like a bullfight, like a relationship, like war
Wow. yeh... wow.
I love this. The words are still dancing through my mind. There are so many terrific lines in this piece ("passing by in porcelain"!!). It feels as if you've freed them... and they evolve, linger...
This is powerful. And so very moving.
Incredibly well done-
SNM |
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Re: This Isn't About Love Anymore
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Thursday, 18th November 2004 @ 05:49:56 PM AEST
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First I was just really excited
to see ANOTHER ONE from you.
I was really impressed with this.
I really felt inside your head and heart
on this one.
One of the best reads today,
and always will be.
Keep it up,
because I really love your poetry
and think you are a definitive
voice of the future.
--Mothy
p.s. fix that "gand" on the first line,
pm Mick |
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Re: This Isn't About Love Anymore
(User Rating: 1 )
by eyesxcriedxout1989 on
Sunday, 21st November 2004 @ 03:45:27 PM AEST
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This feels as if its already a part of me...lol not sure if that makes sense, but what I'm trying to say will probly never come out how I want it too, but I have felt this before, and you explain it so well, it was...wow...I can't think of any words to do this poem justice
*salutes*
Mason |
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Re: This Isn't About Love Anymore
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 28th November 2004 @ 12:50:16 PM AEST
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Very sad, Dane, but one of the things I
absolutely ADORE about your poetry is,
that it makes me think. Curse you for
forcing my brain to wake up and try to
make sense on a lazy Sunday morning!!
Excellent write, BTW.
"Progressive destruction,
Like a bullfight, like a relationship, like war...."
WELL PUT!! Do we ever learn? Do we ever
heal? Do we ever?!?
~Breezy |
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Re: This Isn't About Love Anymore
(User Rating: 1 )
by cuddlytiger17 on
Sunday, 28th November 2004 @ 09:57:55 PM AEST
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I love the imagery and metaphors. This is definitely one of my favorites of yours. There's so much pain and truth expressed here.
"All I want is one last kiss before the poison takes effect.
So softly I can steal a part of you
Away with me."
^That really pulled at my heart. You have an amazing with words. |
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Re: This Isn't About Love Anymore
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 3rd July 2014 @ 07:26:57 PM AEST
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very intriguing write, i had to look up synkaryon
and re-read your poem, it meant more to me then, but
the poison throws me off lol, anyway its an awesome
write, i will be back to re-read it after my mind clears,
hugs n' love nessa |
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