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A Dying Wonderland
Contributed by
EternalNight4x
on
Monday, 15th November 2004 @ 08:18:49 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
A wondrous world lies straight ahead
With luminous forests and vibrant flower beds
With white frosted mountains and sparkling streams
Where water is pure and the sunlight gleams
With lush green trees sprouting around
And bright coloured flowers sprout up from the ground
Where chirping birds litter the skies
As the suns simmering rays never fail to shine
With the air so pure and the water crystal clear
Where humans and animals live together and near
And when the sun has descended into the earth
A bright, peaceful night will soon give birth
With the stars scattered throughout the endless space
Shining bright lights keeping everything safe
Where the people no longer feel sorrow or hate
A lively, blissful future is what they await
The wondrous world that lies straight ahead
Is a world that I found within my own head
But slowly and surely the world darkens with my heart
Gradually dying part by part
The flowers have withered, the streams have run dry
The animals flee as the lush forest die
The great cities fall, leaving none to survive
Their once superb lives have taken a dive
The remains of the world have burnt all around
While the sun permanently plummets into the ground
All signs of life disappear with the light
The world’s been consumed by the darkest of night
Copyright ©
EternalNight4x
... [
2004-11-15 20:18:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Dying Wonderland
(User Rating: 1 )
by sandy_poetrygodslove on
Monday, 15th November 2004 @ 08:27:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| What a beautiful picture of words, I saw in my head, then toward the end it became dead.. Your words ran into eachother very nice flow .. was like music. I kept going back and reading the title. and new that what I was reading wasn't fitting it. then I knew within that it was going to change and I hated to continue to read but I did. what a master piece to keep me on edge like that. then I thought the poem seems to be saying that your having this wonderful life and then it turns dark... HOpe things get better.. remember those that wait on the lord shall renew their strength and fly on eagle's wings. sandy |
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Re: A Dying Wonderland
(User Rating: 1 )
by cocacola1331 on
Monday, 15th November 2004 @ 08:30:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very symbolic and very beautiful. I could compare it to my life.... it's ironic and cruel how once tragedy arises, one can compare their life to almost anything sad.... beautiful write. |
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Re: A Dying Wonderland
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Monday, 15th November 2004 @ 08:38:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I don't think it matters caused you to write this
poem what matters is that you have written a
superb piece of art. I thought some of the
rhymes were a bit forced, but other than that
you have created a wonderful poem with
resplendent imagery.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: A Dying Wonderland
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetdreamsaremadeofthis on
Monday, 15th November 2004 @ 09:02:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wow, this poem is so vivid it created a story in my mind, and had an effect on me almost as a song does! Great job! :) |
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Re: A Dying Wonderland
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 15th November 2004 @ 09:43:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| beautiful and well written. |
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Re: A Dying Wonderland
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Tuesday, 16th November 2004 @ 06:19:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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wow powerful write here,
pixie xx |
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Re: A Dying Wonderland
(User Rating: 1 )
by neglected1 on
Tuesday, 16th November 2004 @ 12:33:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow, i think thats simply all that i could possibly say.. what a wonderful write.. i really enjoyed reading this.. and the twist at the end-was written very well.. this indeed is one of the best things i have read on here..
thanks for sharing
~neglected1~ |
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Re: A Dying Wonderland
(User Rating: 1 )
by CrimsonTears on
Tuesday, 16th November 2004 @ 02:49:04 PM AEST
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wow!!!...this is so beautiful and yet so dark all at the same time....its an absolutely amazing poem.....i loved it....amazing job....excellent poem
Lots of Love
CrimsonTears |
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