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After The Sunset...
Contributed by
kidpoet_213
on
Sunday, 14th November 2004 @ 03:33:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
SongLyrics
|
After the sunset...
Comes the absence of light
When the still darkness becomes the deep blackness of night
When... for some... in the darken glow... feeding off the shadows of the mind
Life becomes... an empty dream... a mere shell of a cracked mirror of time
Both are shattered into a million pieces
When life gets dashed against an impenetrable wall
And bloody shards of the mind are exploding everywhere in the fall
This is where you've found yourself one too many times before...
One too many times to really count...
'Cause when it all goes down... it's...
After the sunset
You find your weakness... is ready to pound
You straight into the ground
You take your drug of choice in hand
Ready to destroy yourself... if you can
Needing a release... of all the day's emotional increase
The pain... the anguish of the soul
Because you feel... your worthless life can never be made whole
'Cause when it all goes down... it's...
After the sunset
When your emotions are running high
You just want to fly...
To that place of sweet relief
Where you think... you can find your peace
A place so well hidden in your mind's eye
Your belief is... no one will ever find
Just what it is you're trying to hide
So that you can fight... all alone...
'Cause when it all goes down... it's...
After the sunset
You need to fight...
All the anguish... all the shame rising up inside
As it's wanting to claim your life...
Strip you of your soul...
To make it all... its own
'Cause when it all goes down... it's...
After the sunset
You reach for the only weapon at hand
The bloody knife... a sliver of the shattered mirror of time
You drag it across your delicate skin
Watching in horror as you sink it in
Let the bloodbath begin...
'Cause when it all goes down... it's...
After the sunset
It's like a drug... draining blood red... to ease your pain
An addiction... from which... you can't refrain
What starts out as just a scratch...
Runs deeper with every new attack
'Cause when it all goes down... it's...
After the sunset
And when your done...
You gaze upon...
The damage path... the bloody tracks
The cuts... the scars... left upon your skin
As you retrace your steps...
You wonder to yourself...
Why... have I done it again...?
Why... in my mind... do I lie to myself... each and every time... each and every night?
When the deed is done...
Oh... how can I go on?
After the sunset...
After the sunset...
You just wait for the dawn...
As you sit... rocking back and forth...
Blood all around... upon the stark white towels
Tomorrow's just another day...
To start it all over again...
'Cause when it all goes down... it's...
After the sunset...
After the sunset
Copyright ©
kidpoet_213
... [
2004-11-14 15:33:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: After The Sunset...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stoney1 on
Monday, 15th November 2004 @ 06:25:49 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I wouldn't worry too much if something you write offends someone.
Regardless of what topic you choose, if you have a wide enough
readership; you're bound to offend someone just given the law of
averages.
As a matter of fact, the whole idea of a cult of people who practice
self destructive behaviours like applying a knife or razor to cut
themselves, simply mystifies me and admittedly, it also *****es
me off.
If someone wants to die, let them join the army and go to Iraq and
make themselves useful and maybe they'll get lucky and an insurgent
will off them. At least it would have the positive effect of allowing
somebody who wants to live to come home.
As for the merits of the poem; too long and too wordy. Syntax is
strained and awkward.
But you might be able to salvage it with some serious editing.
Now, this is my opinion and I'm talking about the merits of the
poem and not about you as a person, so please don't get all
huffy and respond by PMing me with a personal attack.*g*
Stoney
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Re: After The Sunset...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 16th November 2004 @ 01:16:43 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Well... honestly. I was left speechless by your beautiful poem and then left seething by that last comment. I could rant and rave all I like at this "Stony" person, but thats not the point of leaving a comment.
I think your writting is something to be admired and this particular poem is both beautiful and heartwrenching. Some of it kind of hits home and so I can relate in a small part... after all, no body's pain is the same.
Heh, don't let Stony bother you, I sometimes think its people like THAT we should send to war.
So yeah, an undoubtedly enoyable read. Thanks for sharing.
Take Care
- Becca |
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Re: After The Sunset...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 16th January 2005 @ 03:32:55 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Interesting weave of all the different weaknesses people have into one piece. Nice. Blessings. |
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