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home (its a story)
Contributed by
looroll
on
Wednesday, 10th November 2004 @ 01:56:03 PM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
I lay there looking up at the badly plastered murky white ceiling; there was a glimmer of a light from the neighbour’s front porch light. Something sharp was sticking up beneath me, but the heartache that I was feeling overpowered the infinitesimal pain on my back.
Raised voices shuck me up, the anger in the voice sent a shiver down my spine, it was getting clearer and clearer as if it was coming closer. Then I realised the voice was shouting me, but what had I done. My thoughts flashed back over that day... 'I came in put my back in my room, took my shoes off and got a drink. I didn’t leave anything out, I don’t think.'
Closer and closer I hear the thunderous footsteps. Shaking hard I hear 'I want to be alone, what do you want?' then I realise that was me, it was my voice. The hysterical voice was telling me I hadn't cleaned the house, I tried to explain I had done the jobs left out for me to do but I never get listened to, for ages I was trying to stick up for myself but it didn’t work so the next thing that I thought was get out, run leave this situation you have lived in for so long.
Downstairs I ran on the verge of tears, knowing nothing could stop me now, grabbing my shoes and leaping out the door my heart started racing once more. Whilst my brain went over which house I could escape to, where I could trust to be safe, every two steps I would glance around petrified of the darkness that surrounded me. The cold chill that blew down my back made me wonder whether I should have left without my sister but I couldn't turn back. Not this time.
So many questions were running through my mind as I neared the house. Although I knew I was doing the right thing I couldn't help but feel doubt.
Trembling I nervously reached up towards the doorbell, not sure whether to push it. My hand hovered for what seemed like hours, and eventually I pushed it. The sound made me shiver. I knew now that I had done it. One night of peace, a short time to think, but it’s all I need.
As she opened the door I tried to keep all my emotions deep within me until I could explain to her what had happened, what has been happening over the past year. I felt so shook up, I didn't know where to start. My mind kept flicking back to my sister. Was she ok? Was she getting all the anger ventilated at her?
The problems would still be there tomorrow and the next day. I couldn't take anymore hassle, my head hurt with all the thoughts but telling my friend as much as I could without crying made me realise I couldn't stay there, I couldn't live in that house anymore.
Days passed and I had told everyone that I couldn't go back, moving in with my sister for a couple of weeks was like heaven. The family called it breathing space but in my heart I knew that eventually I would be happy because I wasn't there. It would be soon. I hope.
I went back home after I saw how sad my sister was, it was breaking my heart the life and soul she used to have in her eyes had gone, drained away. Things hadn't changed. The atmosphere was still there haunting me.
After a couple of weeks, everything was getting to me. The flip outs, names and arguments, which I could escape from because I wanted to be there with my sister.
One day at school I was finding it really hard to concentrate, all morning I had a gut feeling something bad was going to happen but I didn't know what. Then during the break I was trying to block this feeling out and carry on the day as normal, this was until my sister came over in tears, I had that feeling that I had when I ran away the cold shiver down my spine.
She said that the one person who was helping me keep strong in that hell house has been made to move out. I knew now my sister and me were in danger but what could I do? The sudden rush of anger hit me and I grabbed my phone and sent the message. The message that had decided my sisters and my home, I told them I was moving out. Moving out for good. This will be the one-day that I will have the memory with me forever.
Copyright ©
looroll
... [
2004-11-10 13:56:03]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: home (its a story)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on
Thursday, 11th November 2004 @ 06:14:48 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Ok, there is some mis spelling ( I am not so good at that either) and some gramatical errors. As far as content it was pretty good. You could have been a little more clear, I had to re read a few times because it was a little confusing. You use such vivid imagery in the begining but it slightly begins to lack detail near the end and becomes somewhat sketchy. But I do think you have somthing here. Work on it a little more. I learned that you have to re write your story at least two more times before you can consider it finished ( learned in a college writing class). This to me seems like a rough draft. But If you put a little more time I think it will be very great. It is a good subject and an emotional write. Good job. |
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Re: home (its a story)
(User Rating: 1 )
by BEE on
Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 12:36:55 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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VERY NICE I LIKE YOUR POETRY ALL WROTE WELL
PS COMMENT ON SOME OF MY POEMS THANKS
BEE* |
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