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Last Night We Died
Contributed by
pixie
on
Wednesday, 10th November 2004 @ 11:16:57 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Last night a part of us died,
We held each other forever & cried,
He feels his loving girlfriend has been lost,
She has died in depressions icy frost.
There have been many tears for us of late,
Seems its only sadness that belongs in our fate,
Smiles for us are a thing of the past,
Over us a big, black cloud has been cast.
We don’t deserve to feel so depressed,
In red silk our love should be dressed,
Instead we cry, row & tear each other apart,
It is only you who can put a beat into my heart.
As we looked into each others sad eyes,
All that could be heard was our sorrowed cries,
The faint sound of our hearts about to break,
I want to fall asleep & never again wake.
If I lost you my world was surely crumble,
I know from the heavens I would take a tumble,
Thinking of you the memories hurt me so,
Time without you next to me ticks by so slow.
My depression is kicking me when I am down,
It’s making you not want to be around,
If I lost you the hurt would end my life,
Depression is stabbing me in the back with its knife.
Copyright ©
pixie
... [
2004-11-10 11:16:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Last Night We Died
(User Rating: 1 )
by x_midnight_x on
Wednesday, 10th November 2004 @ 11:33:46 AM AEST
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a Message)
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i can relate to this poem,depression can be a real problem and its hard fighting it with a boyfriend who needs your love.
a good write i enjoyed it :)
we have to stop thinking too much when it comes to love and instead feel happy with it for now..instead of all the worries of tomoroow piled on our heads..all that we have is now..if its a good relationship dive in it..and love like youve never been hurt.
blessings,
midnight x |
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Re: Last Night We Died
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Wednesday, 10th November 2004 @ 11:47:25 AM AEST
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oh pixie!*hugs*
i realy hope that you don't lose him and things work out for you! |
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Re: Last Night We Died
(User Rating: 1 )
by -Lord-Vince-Black- on
Wednesday, 10th November 2004 @ 11:48:59 AM AEST
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Very good poem,
was certainly a plesure to read it,
Good luck with your love..
Lord Vince Black |
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Re: Last Night We Died
(User Rating: 1 )
by screwup on
Wednesday, 10th November 2004 @ 01:15:29 PM AEST
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*hugs pixie tight*... it is amazing the way you put everything you are feeling into a poem such as this... I can't even explain how much this one affected me... great job and pm me if you wanna talk and/or bored. :)
take care,
Deanna |
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Re: Last Night We Died
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Thursday, 11th November 2004 @ 12:46:05 AM AEST
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vivid and beautiful, yet painful to read at the
same time. To be honest I think the last two
stanzas should be left out and the stanza
before those two should be written like this.
The faint sound of our hearts about to break,
I want to fall asleep & never again wake.
As we looked into each others sad eyes,
All that could be heard was our sorrowed cries,
Of course maybe the first two lines could be
re-written to complement the ending of the
previous stanza, but personally I think the
last two lines end the poem beautifully. Sorry
just some thoughts... :S
Bobo (Joel) |
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