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THIS IS JACK
Contributed by
ladydp2000
on
Tuesday, 9th November 2004 @ 01:03:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Yesterday I saw the most creepy mouse,
Sneaking right through my front door,
He was wearing tails and a top black hat
And dragging was a large suitcase too...
When he saw me, he run inside,
And past me he dashed so fast,
Into the kitchen he went in
To a tiny hole with suitcase and all...
I tried everything to flushed him out,
From the hole so fast,
I played some music extremely loud,
And even called his cell phone.
So I ordered him some cheese pizza,
Provolone and jack cheese by the pound,
I just placed it close, for him to come out and eat,
But... he grabbed with him so quick
An email he sent me later on,
In which this certain note, to me he wrote:
"This's Jack,thank you for giving me more food,
Now I can stay with you, for another three weeks!
Copyright ©
ladydp2000
... [
2004-11-09 13:03:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: THIS IS JACK
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 10th January 2005 @ 06:09:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Cute story. Letsee. you want to change "he RAN inside" on the fifth line, "to flush him out", not flushed. There's a bit of language problem, but the story is so cute it is worth working on! Cheers! |
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Re: THIS IS JACK
(User Rating: 1 )
by Whitelightning77 on
Monday, 10th January 2005 @ 06:10:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this was cute -
especially since we are battleling t he lil creatures in our house.
thanks for sharing |
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Re: THIS IS JACK
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Saturday, 6th August 2005 @ 08:58:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| That is cute, next time use one of those cage traps. It doesn't kill the mouse it just traps him. |
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