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Strepthroat Codine Love
Contributed by
deadreckoning1983
on
Monday, 8th November 2004 @ 04:37:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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Opaque meandering nothing.
A fusion between comatose
And catatonic euphoria.
Pressing the matter beneath the skin,
Each delicious gram taken in the vein,
Liquid happiness softens the tension.
Let this codine wonderland surpress the desire for life.
Killing every sense but sleep,
I melt away from you.
Hating you more and more.
Resting in these brilliant white halls,
A twitch of the eye refracts the light.
Muscles ache at the waking of a new day.
Spit cracks apart as a yawn escapes me.
The white of the eye meets the red,
And the mucus meets the back of my throat.
I can't wait to tell her off.
Copyright ©
deadreckoning1983
... [
2004-11-08 16:37:50] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Strepthroat Codine Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by bobotheclown on
Monday, 8th November 2004 @ 04:53:01 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hmm very interesting. The poem was very
descriptive and poetic I enjoyed reading it as
well as the images I found placed in my head.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Strepthroat Codine Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Nazmythian on
Monday, 8th November 2004 @ 05:12:56 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Welcome Back Dane !!! Get 'er done. Some fabulous imagery here !!! Almost gives the feeling that only a straight jacket is missing in an attempt to control you. I think you should tell her off in print. Let's see it unleashed !!!
Excellent write.
Nazzy ~ |
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Re: Strepthroat Codine Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by bonita2689 on
Tuesday, 9th November 2004 @ 12:10:48 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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How lovely. You have a uniquer writing style but put it to good use. Great write! |
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Re: Strepthroat Codine Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by eyesxcriedxout1989 on
Tuesday, 9th November 2004 @ 08:02:09 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hmm, this was wierd, yet very excellent...I liked it
Mason |
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Re: Strepthroat Codine Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by cuddlytiger17 on
Tuesday, 9th November 2004 @ 09:40:31 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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The imagery is great, you can picture each scene nearly perfectly. The ending made me laugh. Good write. Glad to see you're back around again. :) |
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Re: Strepthroat Codine Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by theMoth on
Friday, 12th November 2004 @ 07:06:48 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hope this is the beginning
of a great comeback.
i saw this last night
but ran out of my
internet time because I was
previously busy fighting someone
again.
But I remebered some of the lines.
Especially the end.
It's really cool poetry.
Please don't ever stop.
--Mothy |
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Re: Strepthroat Codine Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Sunday, 28th November 2004 @ 01:35:20 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Things that make ya go 'hmmmmm'
This was great, Dane. A magnificent
write. Another one that's cause for
pensive thought.
*taps fingers together like Mr. Burns...*
Excellent......
~Breezy |
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Re: Strepthroat Codine Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Saturday, 11th December 2004 @ 02:39:12 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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awesome |
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Re: Strepthroat Codine Love
(User Rating: 1 ) by hauntedscorp on
Friday, 21st November 2014 @ 01:42:20 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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To borrow a (partial) quote from a cool poet I read; this is like being on the 'haunted side' of comfortably numb. The aloofness is matched with hostility in your metaphor.
Scathing imagery that is relentless.
~Scorp |
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