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It’s time I took my life.
Contributed by
deathdrop
on
Monday, 8th November 2004 @ 02:29:09 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
Why do I feel so confused?
I feel dumb and torn and used.
I don’t know my friends any more.
I just no people who don’t see I’m raw.
Some times, I see their sides that aren’t always seen.
Then I get gob and it upsets me…
I’m thinking like mad, it’s time I cut.
I can’t turn away ‘coz the doors been shut.
I’m thinking of over dose,
And who it would affect.
I’m thinking of jumping a roof,
… And what I would have left.
I’m thinking of being the selfish cow.
And attempting a suicide end.
I’m thinking of this ‘coz I can’t get out.
And I feel like I’ve lost my head.
I’m thinking of this and all I can say,
Is I’m sorry if it goes ahead.
But all day I’ve been thinking of crimson sprays.
And all of that liquid red…
Give me some way of handling me!
‘Coz I can’t control head some times.
And some think its fun to start at me,
And sooner or later I’ll punch out their lights.
… And I’m just listening to the abuse I spray.
Low confidence filling me inside.
So I turn and move quickly away.
Before I turn round and fight…
But is this truthfully what makes me?
I feel unstable and confused to be...
I look around at the chaos here.
I look around steering away the tears.
Come tomorrow, what if I wasn’t here?
Wouldn’t it be easier if I just disappeared?
So many see me and down on the floor.
Some have passed and kicked me some more.
And such is life, don’t I know!
I’m used to being innocent and then being accursed.
Because of course it would be me!
So just keep thudding your words!
Calling me a thief.
Making me feel like dirt.
But it WASN’T me!
And we all know that now.
But just think about it Clare,
‘Coz you KNOW how it feels!
I’ve thinking of all the little things,
That will push me on my way.
Don’t think I’m just exaggerating,
About this screaming pain.
I’m thinking hard on suicide.
And no more of this stuck-up fake cover.
No more, listening to their toxic lies.
Because, I’m, going under.
No more hearing those twisted lines,
No more listening to my father.
Because I’m ashamed to have his name,
Knowing, he took sides with my brother…!
Copyright ©
deathdrop
... [
2004-11-08 14:29:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: It’s time I took my life.
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Monday, 8th November 2004 @ 03:34:48 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
very sad your feeling things that make us all human and alive hurt depression anger even rage disappointment there is nothing wrong with you at all. Your feelings run deep. As far as family goes take it from me sometimes life is better without them you can make your own family of your chosing along your way that will fill voids and lonliness. I hope your venting feeling and not really thinking of giving up I hope you chose to stay you can overcome anything I see a hidden and deep strength within you you remind me of someone.......... Enough said Im a pm away
HUGGERS
Michelle |
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Re: It’s time I took my life.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Monday, 8th November 2004 @ 04:20:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Although you don't see it right now, your life is a precious gift you were given. I know life is not easy, but there is joy in life; and yes there is pain. But we can strengthen from our hurt. Maybe you're just a little enraged too, which is ok. But it's not ok to self destruct over our difficulties. There is help and support, and i'm glad you're reaching out. Look to the strength within; and ask Him to comfort you.
God Bless, and you are worth the effort!
Willofree |
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Re: It’s time I took my life.
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Tuesday, 9th November 2004 @ 09:13:36 AM AEST
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a Message)
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great expression, I really hope that writing your feelings out helps you to try and deal with your struggles, suicide is the easy way out, I tried it, but it is the most selfish thng a person can do and now i look back i am glad that i am alive and treasuring my gift of life it is hard, and will kicks you when you are down, but you have to dig your heels in and tell yourself that you are not going to let this beat you, you are stronger than that,
takecare,
pixie xx |
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