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Arab Israeli Conflict
Contributed by
Rxqueen
on
Monday, 8th November 2004 @ 03:38:37 AM in AEST
Topic:
political
|
Land is but a material posession
not a cause for people's depression
for life happens only one time
I know for land I wouldn't give up mine
So now you ask me to speak
about the solution they need to speak
when all I can really tell
is the whole situation has gone to hell
People dieing left and right
everyone at the edge of their seats waiting to fight
but why? we ask from over here
because these problems do not play in our daily fear
Who should that place really belong to?
what should those people do?
well, in my opinion I do express
that both those peoples deserve happiness
It is time someone stepped in
to help the process of healing begin
because if something is not done
and no one has won
this conflict will reap
fatalities ever so deep
A 35 year war
and can you really tell me what for
for a land that could be shared
and yes, that is fair
For it was up for grabs
and the Jews took it in their hands
Then the Arabs put up a fight
but they didn't have the right
The UN said it to be
and they didn't have to flee
they could have stayed
but they were the ones who walked away
So now they should open their eyes and see
that people can share and live peacefully
because risking your life for land
over dirt grass and sand
is so ridiculously blind
becasue life happens only one time.
Copyright ©
Rxqueen
... [
2004-11-08 03:38:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Arab Israeli Conflict
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 8th November 2004 @ 04:14:09 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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This is a remarkable masterpeice.
Hope u got highest score for this.
If not point me 2 your teacher.
Don't know how long a go school was but thank u so much for sharing this.
five*****'s form me any time.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy
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Re: Arab Israeli Conflict
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rous on
Monday, 8th November 2004 @ 05:59:57 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Again, a great job. I understand your point, but you have to admit that they have a point also. The land goes back so many generations that we cannot count it. It is more than owning it; it is a belonging. It is a part of them. It is not as simplistic as just a deed. But, you have stated your case very eloquently.
That being said, there are a few errors of which you may want to be aware.
"possession", instead of "posession"
should "need to speak" have been "seek"?
"dieing" is "dying"
"we ask" should be "We ask"
and a few places need punctuation.
I hope you do not mind the grammar criticism. I just feel that a poem is easier to read if the reader is not concentrating on errors.
Again, a great read. Thank you for sharing.
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Re: Arab Israeli Conflict
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on
Monday, 8th November 2004 @ 06:57:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| No I really apprecite comments and help! That was always my weakness, spelling, grammer, and punctuation. I read it differently then it is because I know it almost by heart so it is hard to catch errors, if you know what I mean. But I should have caught the speak seek one! That throw sit off a lot! |
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