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Gone

Contributed by fastpitchqt on Sunday, 7th November 2004 @ 07:10:35 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

As I sit here alone and wonder
Red eyes full of tears
I wonder why can’t I be happy?
Why is only my outside smiling?

Inside I feel like I’m dying, slowly breaking down
Nothing just seems to matter anymore
My friends and family are there, probably the only things keeping me going
Everything else is just hopeless
Pointless, a waste of time

Why repeat high school classes in college?
It’s a waste of my time
It’s a waste of my money
I want to start a career, do something I enjoy
Not classes I suck at and do badly in and depress me

I want a job, I want money
I hate relying on people, especially my parents to get by
I’ve depended on them my whole life
I don’t want to take money from them now

I want love, I want someone who cares
Someone to help feel this void, this emptiness
In both my heart and life
I don’t like this feeling that something, or someone is missing
Someone is missing, Justin, the one I gave my heart to
But that is over, has been over
But he still has my heart

So many days I just feel like curling up and sleeping thru the day
Not wanting to face the day, face reality, face my life
There is no happiness anymore
It has all been drained from my life over time

Now I sit here, alone and cry
With these feelings no one can understand
With these feelings that wont go away

Some days, days like today
I just want to disappear
To never have existed
Then I wouldn’t feel the way I feel

I wouldn’t feel like I would be better off dead
I already feel like I’m dying inside
I once thrived for happiness
But it’s all gone
And I sometimes wish I were too

If I were gone I wouldn’t hurt
If I were gone I wouldn’t be crying myself to sleep
If I were gone everything would be fine

But that’s just it
I’m not gone
I’m still stuck here living in this life that has turned into a nightmare
I want to escape

I want to be invisible
Cause no one knows you
No one sees you
No one hurts you
No one knows you exist

You can live your life how you wish
No tears, no heartache, no sadness
That life sounds much better
That’s it..
I wish I were gone!

Copyright Â© fastpitchqt ... [ 2004-11-07 19:10:35]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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