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Dust To Dust
Contributed by
blackmarker
on
Sunday, 7th November 2004 @ 03:43:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Kill me gently
... soft and slow ...
Kill me gently
... I don't want to go!
Bury me deep
... quick and sharp ...
Bury me deep
... it's getting dark!
Kill me gently
... do it, please ...
Kill me gently
... just don't tease.
Bury me deep
... make it hurt ...
Bury me deep
... I'm under the dirt!
Kill me gently
... do it calmly ...
Kill me gently
... they're doing it, mommy!
Bury me deep
... I wanted this, too ...
Bury me deep
... just more than you!
Kill me gently
... don't feel sad ...
Kill me gently
... I wanted this, bad!
Bury me deep
... you watched me fall ...
Bury me deep
... don't cry at all!
Kill me gently
... I've started to rust ...
Kill me gently
... from dust, to dust.
Copyright ©
blackmarker
... [
2004-11-07 15:43:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Dust To Dust
(User Rating: 1 )
by gt on
Sunday, 7th November 2004 @ 03:59:16 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
it's a really good idea using two speakers, I've never seen it like that before. I love the repetition of the first speaker. Great write.
I'm not sure about this bit though:
Kill me gently
... do it calmly ...
Kill me gently
... they're doing it, mommy!
I know having a british accent ruins it, but it just doesn't really work for me. |
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Re: Dust To Dust
(User Rating: 1 )
by BlazeingHeart on
Sunday, 7th November 2004 @ 07:07:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I love this poem and i love the feeling of being buried and it just touckes me great wright!!!! |
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Re: Dust To Dust
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternalNight4x on
Monday, 8th November 2004 @ 03:57:54 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Yeha i agree I like the two speaker idea...it was very expressive and I really enjoyed it...I like darker poems especially when they rhyme...well good poem |
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