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Lucifer
Contributed by
avanottingham
on
Wednesday, 3rd November 2004 @ 10:01:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
SongLyrics
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What a slow decay of time
I just can't escape this ride
Don't you come any closer
You can't save me
When the darkness loses height
I am blinded by the light
And I won't take it any longer
I have grown much stronger
I am not just what you think
I am not that small and weak
You can't stop me from trying
I am not your child
I will sneak and slip inside
I'll spin this world until you cry-
Please just stop I've had enough!
I will grant your wish now
I will come into my right
No longer shall I hide
I will master my dominion
My underworld kingdom
Copyright ©
avanottingham
... [
2004-11-03 22:01:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lucifer
(User Rating: 1 )
by girltranscended on
Wednesday, 3rd November 2004 @ 10:19:16 PM AEST
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I love it! Loved it right off the bat with:
What a slow decay of time
I just can't escape this ride
awesome! My only suggestion is to shorten "I'll spin this world until you cry" to I'll spin this world 'til you cry. It might help to match it to the punchy line before it.
I am not that small and weak...very very nice! Keep writing! |
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Re: Lucifer
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Thursday, 4th November 2004 @ 12:11:16 AM AEST
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I agree with GT - great opening line! Overall, an interesting first post. Welcome to YPDC, avanottingham! I hope you stick around and share more of your work.
- SNM |
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Re: Lucifer
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 4th November 2004 @ 05:32:39 AM AEST
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wow, not that was a great write,welcome to the site, look forwrd to reading more of your work,
takecare,
pixie xx |
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Re: Lucifer
(User Rating: 1 )
by avanottingham on
Thursday, 4th November 2004 @ 07:34:55 AM AEST
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Thank you all so much! I feel very welcomed!
Did I just oxymoron myself? =) |
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Re: Lucifer
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lionel on
Thursday, 4th November 2004 @ 07:40:23 AM AEST
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| A strange and thought provoking poem. It's as satan talking to God, right? I wrote one about the wicked ol' boy. Title of: "Evil Personified," if you're interested. God bless. |
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Re: Lucifer
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Thursday, 4th November 2004 @ 10:50:30 AM AEST
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A great first post ... and welcome to YPDC. I had to come investigate after the comment you left me ... I am truly glad I did ...
"When the darkness loses height
I am blinded by the light"
I like the way you put that. Neat lines ...
Looking forward to more
Nazmythian ~
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Re: Lucifer
(User Rating: 1 )
by destinyfate on
Saturday, 6th November 2004 @ 02:04:42 PM AEST
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| I like this poem. Great write. |
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