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Empty Screams and Soundproof Rooms
Contributed by
liquidchaos
on
Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 08:44:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Oh sharp and faithful friend, please help me bleed the dream.
Drain me of all memories and kill me.
Don't let all of this become another meaningless cliche.
I need to find an exit from this murder scene.
Between these empty screams behind this solid door,
With sound proof walls and padlocks to restrain me
Seek to find a frequency containing liberation,
To find a single friend among the lost.
I need to spill this anesthesia.
I am torn apart by repetition,
and I'm still holding back.
I'm holding on to hope and it kills me.
This place is filled with sickness and sorrow.
Are there living among the dead?
You come so they can make you well,
But the voices can't be drowned by sedatives.
How did we all come to this?
We strive for asthetic perfection
But the mind lacks something in what we can't achieve
So what can the broken hope to find?
Wake up--WAKE UP and breathe in the air of a perfect day to end it all.
Somehow through the dawn I see that I'm still here, alone.
Everyone sees through me--my facade is failing and I'll be exposed.
Copyright ©
liquidchaos
... [
2004-11-01 20:44:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Empty Screams and Soundproof Rooms
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 09:00:18 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| wow, this is awesome, i love it! |
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Re: Empty Screams and Soundproof Rooms
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 09:13:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| excellent write, very vivid. |
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Re: Empty Screams and Soundproof Rooms
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Tuesday, 2nd November 2004 @ 07:14:10 AM AEST
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a Message)
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a descriptive write, very powerful,
takecare
pixie xx |
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Re: Empty Screams and Soundproof Rooms
(User Rating: 1 )
by WorthlesSanity666 on
Tuesday, 2nd November 2004 @ 07:41:16 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I really liked it as well. My only suggestion would be tio try and rhyme a little more (I know, look whos' talking...). Other than that, I thought it was perfect. I know it sounds stupid, but the words were pretty. I just can't find an intelegent way of saying it... hmm, let's think..... The powerful words painted such concise pictures that a brush could not, and the variety was like stepping into a field, full of different flowers... *sigh* corny, but better, I think.... Anywhen, I liked your poem. |
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