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A river of Blood
Contributed by
jenny21614
on
Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 08:43:45 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
A river of blood,
lives in my soul.
Leads a blood soaken path to my heart,
where it lays shattered,
broken, sputtering out random beats.
Connections all lost, cut off with a tear stained knife.
Hide it. HIDE IT!!
Put up a black fence,
paint it white.
Bolt it shut, put a million locks on it.
Throw away the key.
Turn your back, you didn't really see it did you?
They will never know, could never know,
could never conceive the truth.
Could this be true?
Could this exist?
All of it... underneath this smile?
Copyright ©
jenny21614
... [
2004-11-01 20:43:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A river of Blood
(User Rating: 1 )
by LiquidChaos on
Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 08:48:46 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I know exactly what it is like to walk around and flash fake smiles all day. And it sucks. Facades are hard to break down. I like how you expressed how your soul feels by giving it a visual image. If this is a poem you feel like improving, try elaborating on the main points you've established to make it longer. I really like the premise you've got here. Nice job. |
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Re: A river of Blood
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 09:24:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| fantastc write. very well expressed. |
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