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suicide note
Contributed by
ballistik
on
Sunday, 31st October 2004 @ 03:08:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
you knew that this would happen....i know you do so dont blame yerself.....itz been waiting fer me fer a long time....i was jus waiting fer my mind ta fully melt....i cant get back to the start....you know ive tried....but ive finally broke my own heart....please dont cry....this isnt the end fer you....im making it a new begining....so smile fer me now please?.....with me out of the picture youll fer sure be winning!!!.....i only bring ppl down..........ive never tried to but thas all i could do....even when im happy....you know that those feelingz werent true.....you can tell it in my eyez....how vacant they get when i stare.....you want me ta finally tell you why?....itz cause i was alwayz on the verge of tearz....my emotionz couldnt come out in the open....i was to broken ta share what i lost....the unspoken werdz that i hid....was the only way that i fought....cause if other ppl knew they would break me....make me feel so unreal and taint me.....suffocate all the feelingz that raped me....but you know what? those are the emotionz that make me ME!!!.....i can take it now i realize why im here....itz not ta cry er ta shed any tearz....itz not ta live out my yearz....itz ta show ppl that therez no real fearz....you gotta jus live and thas all...no emotionz can stop you, nor make you fall....all they can do is make you stronger....if you have no more strength then jus crawl....but now itz to late fer me....nobody ever showed me a different way ta see....ive hidden to much feelingz inside.....ive watched myself to many timez decieve....so i have to tell you how to take this...cause if i dont then i know youd break and be *****....jus know that im good now and smile....dont let yerself go through the same *****....im warning you now like i shoulda been told...but nobody knew my own fate....ive hid to much from everyone....and now when i look at otherz id only see hate....so before any1 readz this...the soul in me will be gone of all life....jus please remember me in a good way....and dont remember me in all spite....cause im doing this fer all kindness...im not selfish anymore now, i see....that the werld is all full of emptyness....but the emptyness is only around me.....so maybe when im gone itll get lighter....and every1 can go ther own way....and know that im alwayz watching fer you....every single bright er dark day......amen.....
Copyright ©
ballistik
... [
2004-10-31 15:08:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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