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Darkness
Contributed by
gothchyk
on
Friday, 29th October 2004 @ 06:45:53 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Through the darkness a youg girl stares
Sitting in mystery
wondering who cares?
As the earth revolves
and clouds roll by
the stench of memories
gone is becoming.
As her mind wonders back
all see she is black.
Black is the color of her room and door
and black are the color of her sheets
Black can hide anything
behind the closed doors of her mind.
As she sits on a pile of broken trust
she falls into ones lust
and tumbles down into the dust
of the dead.
Copyright ©
gothchyk
... [
2004-10-29 18:45:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 29th October 2004 @ 07:28:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i thought this was very good as it is. excellent last stanza too. |
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Re: Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by THORN on
Saturday, 30th October 2004 @ 06:40:23 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Some spelling mistakes but very good, I like the first stanza :P
Cheers,
-XRaye |
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Re: Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by LEMMEN on
Tuesday, 23rd November 2004 @ 10:17:45 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Deep write. I'm just woundering who hurt you that you can't trust The darkness Keep writing keep letting your feelings out it helps. There were a few mistakes but that ok poetry is not about perfection. It's about to me at least letting out what is inside of you.
Oh yeah WELCOME TO YPDC nice to have you here. Hope to read many more of your works.
:)
~~DENNIS~~ |
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Re: Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Doriens_Picture on
Monday, 20th December 2004 @ 11:14:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i love your rhymes and words great write |
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Re: Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rylo on
Friday, 4th March 2005 @ 06:46:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Oh yes this was really ass kicking. Awesome job. |
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Re: Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shattered_soul on
Friday, 11th November 2005 @ 03:51:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I like the way your stanzas dont match up, like some have 3 lines sime 2 and some 4,
well keep up the good work, looking forward to reading your work.
~S.S |
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