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Love...

Contributed by jishes_4_ever on Tuesday, 26th October 2004 @ 10:39:12 AM in AEST
Topic: LovePoetry

He strokes her soft cheek
And whispers in her ear "i love you"
Knowing that it's true
She's all he's ever wanted
She knows that she loves him
And she tells him everyday
There's no one else for her
She would give up the world to be w/ him
Yet she can't be w/ him
The years between them are just to much
But to feel this kind of love
It's to much to keep inside
They love each other endlessly
W/ out a doubt
He tells her he'll wait
And she tries to think it's true
She's trying to make herself believe him
And not think he'll find someone else
She loves him so much
There is no one else
He knows in his heart that everything he says is true
But to know that she doubts it
Makes him want to prove it even more
He won't find another
There's no possible way
He loves her completely
There's no one else for him
He knows he'll wait for her
But will she wait for him
This she knows is true
For she never wants to be w/ out him
She would wait for him forever
Even if it meant to be w/ him for only one day
They'll love each other endlessly
So they'll wait til they can be together
And that day will be soon

Copyright © jishes_4_ever ... [ 2004-10-26 10:39:12]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Love... (User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on Tuesday, 26th October 2004 @ 11:26:45 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I really like the poem and only noticed one tiny mistake and that's the misuse of the word to in the line..
The years between them are just to much
But to feel this kind of love ; it should be too.. as in too many, or too much. Also if it were me (I know it's not.) I would not do the w/out thing, but write out without.. it just looks less hurried, and more like you really wanted to write the poem..but that's me. The idea and the poem itself were GREAT.

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