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Persistant Dripping
Contributed by
EVERxSOxSWEET
on
Monday, 25th October 2004 @ 06:23:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Nobody heard the persistant dripping
Of the tears as they formed a puddle
On her floor that dark, cold night.
It seemed as if the whole world was wrong,
and not a thing was right.
It was the begining,
The begining of her tragic end.
Now you dont have to lie,
Please, Dont pretend.
You dont know me,
And the way i live is a mystery to you.
Nobody understands why i keep doing the things that i do
Nobody knows me
And nobody,
Nobody heard the persistant dripping
Of the tears as they formed a puddle
On her floor that dark, cold night.
Copyright ©
EVERxSOxSWEET
... [
2004-10-25 18:23:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Persistant Dripping
(User Rating: 1 )
by cuddlytiger17 on
Monday, 25th October 2004 @ 08:09:43 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Actually, I liked this quite a bit. Especially the repetition of:
"Nobody heard the persistant dripping
Of the tears as they formed a puddle
On her floor that dark, cold night." |
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Re: Persistant Dripping
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 25th October 2004 @ 08:54:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| fantastic write. |
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Re: Persistant Dripping
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Tuesday, 26th October 2004 @ 04:24:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| awesome |
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Re: Persistant Dripping
(User Rating: 1 )
by eyesxcriedxout1989 on
Saturday, 30th October 2004 @ 01:35:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I really enjoyed this bit of poetry...I'm diggin your music too
Mason |
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Re: Persistant Dripping
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Saturday, 30th October 2004 @ 04:31:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I like what you did with the title phrase.
If you aren't satisfied with it
it may be worth a rewrite.
--Mothy |
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