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Hard Cell
Contributed by
Hannah_Heaven
on
Sunday, 24th October 2004 @ 02:08:58 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
i watch in terror
as my dad beats my mum
she has learnt to hold back the tears
he now selects the weakest of my two brothers
as iam the oldest,
his taunts and violence
dont have the same emotional effect as they have on my brothers
me and vinnie watch as our brother is thrashed about,all because the few tears escaped his eyes
my dad doesnt like the signs of weakness
he is a real gangsta,the gipsy
my dads lays into him heavily and my brother is slowly going under
he throws him around
and my brother runs for the caravan door
bad mistake
as i do not have feelings for any of my family
iam only concerned nothing more
i look out the frosted window
my brother is laying in the snow
my dad beats him with a metal pole he has found
and drags him to the lake
i turn away
knowing what will be done
my brother will be dunked under
punishment for his weakness
my dad carrys him back
he is unconcious
bleeding from his head badly
my brother was only seven at the time
my mother finally left him
she had turned insane with this,monster,my dad
i was took into a home
after being sexually abused by my dad
i was scared of the older men
and found refuge with the women
i felt safe there
at home
but its in this 'care'
i found out that i was going to turn out like the monster
the lads sometimes skitted me
i didnt stand for their bull
i won most fights
as i found i was already stronger than them
learning to defend myself anyway possible from my dad
i was known as the cock
the hard one
i would bang anyone if it would get me a reputation
at five i was the hardest in my care
and at 13 i was hanging round with much older lads than me
this lead to drinking and more violence,and the few stealings
as i grew
i become more known for my riots
my fits of anger
my mental health
by 19 i was known as the most dangerous man in prison
by then i had gone through so many prisons it was like a russ
boredom but i felt at home
the only home i knew actually
as the years grew
i saw some horrible sights
but i learnt to deal with them
i saw alot of murders
involved in some myself
there was alot of homicide and gay activities going on
i was use to this
at the homes some boys would cuddle up together
maybe because they felt safe,or just need comforting
the same reason hear
or just the need to over power
gang-rapes were common
i never took part in these or homicide
i wouldnt sink that low
10 years later.....
years have passed
and the blurs the gaps
are mostly because of the drugs and the fights
my life turned into gangsta
all because of this monster
that shared the same blood as me
i turned out just like him
i never hit women though
i didnt stoop that absolute low
but i was known as the most violent,mentally desturbed man in probaly the whole UK
i made friends with most gangsters
the hard boys
the screws(i learnt to not hate them but to see the person past the uniform)
i have come so far
because i had the DR
he helped me learn from my mistakes
and to show my emotion(even though i will never be able to retrieve or give strong emotions,all except channeling them into anger)
i wrote a book
to show the world
what a childhood can turn a troubled depressed lad into
a criminal
a bad boy
a murderer
and my life was just a cell
and always will be
a damn * hard cell
Copyright ©
Hannah_Heaven
... [
2004-10-24 14:08:58] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hard Cell
(User Rating: 1 ) by deathdrop on
Sunday, 24th October 2004 @ 03:15:31 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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damn! that was some hard cell!
if i see that book in the shops i ill defently buy it! is it a true story? |
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