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Parenthetic Silver
Contributed by
ShadowDaughter
on
Friday, 22nd October 2004 @ 05:43:13 PM in AEST
Topic:
ambiguous
|
trying to convince myself
that if every "tomorrow" waterfall-rushes
into another today, well
hopes and dreams and silver
won't happen tomorrow--
they'll happen today
(but yesterday was sweeter)
and I hope I'll be enough
and I dream I won't need to
and I'm silver, sometimes,
but not the way I meant to be.
so pretty (I am flawless)
so shiny (I am metallic)
I am, I am, dare I not be
(silver-
and it's just like you-
and I will happen tomorrow.)
Copyright ©
ShadowDaughter
... [
2004-10-22 17:43:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Parenthetic Silver
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 22nd October 2004 @ 06:20:52 PM AEST
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It does seem to have its own hidden meaning, yet...it leaves me with feelings of excitement and hope...and a need to remain calm.
Mysterious and thought provoking.....Wonderful! |
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Re: Parenthetic Silver
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Friday, 22nd October 2004 @ 06:37:40 PM AEST
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ah..
so many seem like the way I interpret this..
seeking perfection...
The I am, I am, I dare not be is evocative of T.S. Eliot's Love Poem of J. Alfred Prufrock.
Abiguous, but well written.
Em |
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Re: Parenthetic Silver
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 22nd October 2004 @ 07:33:21 PM AEST
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| great write =] |
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Re: Parenthetic Silver
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 23rd October 2004 @ 12:38:22 PM AEST
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Ohhhhh Nora - this one feels rather Plathy to me! And you know... that's a major compliment coming from me! Cryptic, yes... but somehow, not so at the same time. I'm inclined to think that anyone that has had even a single moment of self reflection, will find something relatable in this.... even, if they aren't sure exactly what the connection is.
"I am, I am, dare I not be" is exquisite. I keep re-reading this and pausing to consider how incredibly you string words together. I pause, though only briefly, on one line... (please forgive the picky, self fulfilling statement that is to follow)... I'm thinking "though yesterday" may be more suitable than "but yesterday" in the first stanza.
Powerful expression in a hushed voice - just the way I like it!
SNM
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Re: Parenthetic Silver
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Sunday, 24th October 2004 @ 10:24:06 PM AEST
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You need to remind me to read more of your
poems... although I shouldn't need to be
reminded. I liked this a lot it was different
which is always good and I dunno something
just drew me into it... slap me if I haven't
commented on anything of yours in a while.
so pretty (I am flawless)
so shiny (I am metallic)
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Parenthetic Silver
(User Rating: 1 )
by loveisendless on
Monday, 25th October 2004 @ 01:26:24 AM AEST
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You Sound More Like Gold Than Silver! I Bet Alot Of People Think That Too!! But You Don't Wanna Seem Like You're Telling Everybody That You Are,Because You're Not Conceded!!!
You Seem Like A Nice Person,Along With Your Poetry!!!!
Lots Of Love~DAN!!!!! |
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Re: Parenthetic Silver
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Tuesday, 26th October 2004 @ 12:57:02 AM AEST
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Ahh, I like this one! The language carries a very graceful simplicity. And the ambiguity is becoming.
I like the first stanza best. The thought expressed is, well, it's just one of those.
Excellent, beautiful job, my friend.
Andrew |
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Re: Parenthetic Silver
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Tuesday, 26th October 2004 @ 07:07:45 PM AEST
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An intriguing write, and seems to deal with value and worth. I admire your ability to be cryptic, I tend to be too wordy.
A challanging and skilled write
Willofree |
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Re: Parenthetic Silver
(User Rating: 1 )
by neveryours on
Thursday, 28th October 2004 @ 02:23:59 PM AEST
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Always a gem in your work-
and I hope I'll be enough
and I dream I won't need to
and I'm silver, sometimes,
but not the way I meant to be
Nice job with this. The begining was not my favorite part - you seem to have a tendency to rev up your writing as you get going....worth it however - because you finish well.
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Re: Parenthetic Silver
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Saturday, 30th October 2004 @ 03:38:55 PM AEST
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Like some others already said, this is very intruiguing (I cannot spell. lol)
I love the idea of nothing happening tomorrow, just today. (I got that from this, I dunno if it's what you were trying to say.)
I also think the first stanza was the best.
I adore the way your mind works and how creative you are when you write,Keep up the amazing work hunni.
*huggies*
Phil xxx
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