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Fed Up
Contributed by
fastpitchqt
on
Wednesday, 20th October 2004 @ 05:55:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I’m so tired of everything
I’m fed up with life itself
Nothing ever goes my way
Its like its impossible for me to achieve happiness
Everyday I feel alone and saddened
Feelings of acceptance and belonging plague me
Hoping that being myself is enough and all I need
But I can never convince myself that
I always feel as though I could be better, I should be better
Physically, emotionally, and psychologically
I feel as though I’m just an object to guys, just another piece of ass
I feel as though they don’t really see who I am as a person, and what I have to offer
Instead I’m just another set of boobs, another name on their lists
I feel as though my academic accomplishments will never be good enough
I feel I will never be half as smart as my sister
I feel as though I will not be successful, contrary to what I tell myself
I feel so insecure with myself
With my appearance and who I am
I wonder if I will ever find someone who will love me back
Will I ever be happy with myself and be able to look I the mirror and actually like what I see
When I look in the mirror I see disappointment
I see ugliness
I see failure
I see fat
I see unworthiness
I see reality!
I’m not confident in myself
I doubt myself with everything I do
I never feel satisfied with myself and the things I do
I feel everything I do isn’t good enough and never will be good enough
I feel as though my talents and hobbies will never take me anywhere
I’m slowly losing the things that made me once complete
First, my grandfather died
Then, I couldn’t play softball anymore, which was once my life
My school achievements diminished in college, one thing that made school exciting wasn’t there anymore
Then, I lost Justin, a huge piece of my heart and soul
So what’s next? What else is left to take?
My heart is just eroding away
My friends and family are the two things that keep me here
Who knows where I would be without them
My parents, they mean everything to me, regardless of what I may say and do
They accept me, support me, and love me unconditionally
Jessica, we have our ups and downs but after 15 years were still together
I don’t know who I would be today without her
Desiree, she brings so much strength and understanding
She’s always there when I need someone to listen
Jen, I’ve known her about a year and in the last couple months we are like inseparable
She’s such a wonderful person with so much to offer
We clicked instantly and she’s always been there with an open ear and an open heart
Without these people I don’t know who or where I would be today
But that still doesn’t change what I think about myself
I still see myself the same
I still hate looking at myself in the mirror
Maybe one day I will like what I see
And be able to be confident with who I am and what I stand for
But till then, the person you may see on the outside, is not the person on the inside
I try to stand tall and be strong
But deep down I just want to be me and be happy with that
I try to hide my emotions
Not let people see what’s going on
But I shouldn’t be afraid
To let the real me show through!
Copyright ©
fastpitchqt
... [
2004-10-20 17:55:50] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fed Up
(User Rating: 1 ) by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 20th October 2004 @ 09:09:49 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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excellent write. what people think doesnt matter, most of what they think is opinion and not fact. who cares about stupid peoples opinions? you are the one that sets your standards. if you think you are not good enough, who are you comparing yourself to, or what are your goals? that is how you set the standard. it is useless to judge yourself against another, because they are different and you will always be worse or better, that is fair to neither. if you think you are not good enough, you can just try till you reach your standard or lower it, lowering it has no shame in it. |
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