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Lost in the Fog
Contributed by
subgenius
on
Tuesday, 19th October 2004 @ 10:36:24 AM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
Like two dead children playing hopscotch,
We smiled at one another with neither life nor spirit
The heat between us was rising as my heart grew colder
I could smell the charcoal in the air, she was about to get burned
Like a newscaster promising solutions after the commercial break,
She lied and led me on, perverting the peace in my world.
She was an orchestra of strings out of tune with one another.
Every not she played slashed my hope that harmony could ever exist again
I was a Chinese torture victim strapped beneath a dripping faucet.
My patience was consumed by my frustration.
Sanity and clarity disappeared into the fog of my black thoughts.
I fell like a suicidal investor from an office building into delirium
I stabbed at her heart with a knife of words.
My throat burned as Hell's fire spewed from my lips.
I achieved an orgasm of outrage as I spoke the unforgivable passage.
"I hate you" are the only words I have spoken that I regret
I haven't slept since the day I lost myself in the fog
I crushed her soul like a rabbit's skull under the wheel of a Mack Truck
Like Jesus seeking vengeance with a .45, love was lost
Some things are just too damned stubborn to ever die
Copyright ©
subgenius
... [
2004-10-19 10:36:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lost in the Fog
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Tuesday, 19th October 2004 @ 11:06:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| very discriptive. |
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Re: Lost in the Fog
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 20th October 2004 @ 07:32:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This one's not as entertaining as some of your others. perhaps I was confused in this rather over-allegorical fog of yours, I don't know. I wasn't overly impressed by the newscaster/orchestra leap for one, and it just wasn't as consistent as earlier submissions. There were individual flashes, but it wasn't greater than the sum of its parts in my opinion.
Keep writing, though Sub. |
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