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Dont Know The Reason
Contributed by
frozensuicide
on
Saturday, 16th November 2002 @ 07:40:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
What if you felt like doing something?
But you never had a perfect reason?
What if that dealt with hurting yourself?
Inhuman destruction treason.
It was a decision of mine.
Something I couldn't comprehend.
I don't understand what's going on.
Feeling that I would do the world a favor with my end.
I don't know why I feel the need to hurt myself…
But at night it kills me inside.
I wish I could stop this terrible action.
And stop pretending to hide.
What if you don't have a reason for scars?
A reason to bleed?
What if you don't have a reason to cry at night,
And want to create the ecstasy of pain and speed.
What's the reason not to see the next day?
Just to close your eyes and never come to the awakening
Just to give the world a favor
And stop the pain and cold shakening.
What if you don't have a reason for your cuttings?
But everyone keeps on asking why.
Why that when you try on confessing,
Nothing comes out but a helpless sigh?
I can't tell you why this is happening to me.
Cause honestly I don't know why
But it scares me in the inside,
Knowing I have no control whether or not my emotions wish to die.
I keep asking my self.
Closing my eyes and wondering what to do.
I want to be free and fly away
But my friend, I don't want to leave you.
I feel like im losing my mind.
Unambiguous that I just want to give up for a bit.
Is this an inevitable sign?
That one-day it will go extreme and I'll end up doing it?
I must be a coward for not going through with it.
But it scares me at the same time.
Im afraid that I wont be able to control this urge to cut,
And I wont be able to figure out what my intentions are grime.
I don't want you to stop being my friend,
I don't want you to pretend your blind.
Please help me get through this!
And help me control my mind.
What if I don't have a reason to live?
That this whole life of mine was only a game.
That I really don't feel like winning it,
That I want to give up on the same.
What if I don't have a reason to believe?
In a better world for the next day.
If I stop being this pathetic believer that everything's going to be okay,
And grow up to see that it will be worst the next day.
I cant take this anymore.
I don't know what I want.
I don't know if I want to stop
Or if I wanna keep going and being flaunt.
What if you don't have a reason.
A reason in this season.
A reason to walk a breezing.
Only a unknown reason.
Copyright ©
frozensuicide
... [
2002-11-16 07:40:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Dont Know The Reason
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Saturday, 16th November 2002 @ 08:25:19 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow. This is really good. And I can relate to it. It's honest and open. Awesome job!
~ MoonlitAngel |
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Re: Dont Know The Reason
(User Rating: 1 )
by Blue on
Saturday, 16th November 2002 @ 08:40:46 AM AEST
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I know all about this...read my poetry...it's all about suicide...
thanks for speaking my mind for me...this poem is awesome :-)
blue |
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Re: Dont Know The Reason
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Saturday, 16th November 2002 @ 10:38:46 AM AEST
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I would like to echo MoonlitAngel's assesment 'wow'. I must say this poem is REALLY good. I liked it a lot. Although I wish I wasn't able to say this, but I know what your going through. Let me say that u can get through it. Its hard I know and the hardest is not knowing why ur depressed and suicidal. The times when I've cut the most are interestingly not when I've been most depressed, but when there's just this nagging in me and not knowing why its there. Hold yer head up high u can conquer this. It'll just take a bit of time. I'd love to hear from you e-mail me @ bobothefartingclown@yahoo.com.
Peace,
Joel |
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Re: Dont Know The Reason
(User Rating: 1 )
by nightrider on
Saturday, 16th November 2002 @ 12:27:59 PM AEST
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| hey, chica! great write! yup, this one's going in the shiny blue book! youll see it at code! keep on writing, your stuff is great! |
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Re: Dont Know The Reason
(User Rating: 1 )
by OreO on
Saturday, 16th November 2002 @ 01:19:53 PM AEST
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I can certainly relate to this one , it really hit home with me, it felt as though i was reading my past in some way. I think the part where you call yourself a coward in the poem isnt true, that's not what you are when you realize that you can't go through with it, just know that something is keeping you strong enough not to go through with it, whether it be someone's love, or someone's kind word, or the simple fact that you really don't want to do this because of the pain it would inflict on others lives. I have been here so many endless countless times it's unreal, i can certainly vision what you must be going through. If you ever need to talk you can messag me, i don't mind listening. Thanks for sharing this one, it put me back in a dark time that i had in my life. Keep em ' coming
.::´¯`·..· OreO·..·´¯`::. |
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Re: Dont Know The Reason
(User Rating: 1 )
by wyrd_faerie on
Sunday, 17th November 2002 @ 06:25:38 AM AEST
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wow. i dont really know what else to say- this is like all my thoughts and all my fears and all the everythign i never tell anyone, written in a poem. only it's not by me, and it's so scary that other people are going through what i am and feeling it too. well done, this is beautiful, email me if yu ever need to talk, but i dont blame you at all if you dont - wyrdfaerie@aol.com
lucie xxx |
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Re: Dont Know The Reason
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 7th June 2003 @ 05:16:22 PM AEST
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wow this made me cry im so glad to know that im not the only one who feels like this afraid to tell any b/c they might ask why and then what will you tell them b/c you really dont know why
GREAT WRITE!!!!!!
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