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Lost In The Dark
Contributed by
Live2Die
on
Sunday, 17th October 2004 @ 07:21:02 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
She looked around.
Wondering,
Where she was.
The sky was bleak.
The road buried in shadows.
Trees glared at her.
Light shuned her.
She wandered down the path.
Stumbling,
Trippping,
Darkness prevailing,
Wrapping around her,
Until,
She,
Was,
No more.
Copyright ©
Live2Die
... [
2004-10-17 19:21:02]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lost In The Dark
(User Rating: 1 )
by xemptydecemberx on
Sunday, 17th October 2004 @ 07:23:35 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| *thumbs up* good. |
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Re: Lost In The Dark
(User Rating: 1 )
by cuddlytiger17 on
Sunday, 17th October 2004 @ 08:25:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| it started out good, i don't like the ending though. |
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Re: Lost In The Dark
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 18th October 2004 @ 07:10:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
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cute poem
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Re: Lost In The Dark
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Monday, 25th October 2004 @ 06:19:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
It's a good poem,
but you should get rid of the
commas in the last few lines.
The line breaks should serve
the purpose of emaphasizing
each word.
--Mothy |
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