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No answers...only lies.
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Saturday, 16th October 2004 @ 04:48:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
I close my eyes to wish these nightmares away,
But reality will not be brushed away,
These terrors will not say goodbye,
Just wrap me up in 'How?'s' and 'why?'s'...
(And as I fight for breath, I wonder, will I survive...?)
There are no answers...only lies...
I open my eyes to see if my world has changed,
But to my dismay the pain still remains,
And these torments stay firmly by my side,
Is there anywhere to run..or anywhere to hide...?
(And if I do run away what will I find...?)
There are no answers...only lies...
And I still try to hold on to the pieces of my heart,
But my fingers can't hold on, as the pieces fall apart,
For better or worse? I cannot decide,
All I know is there is a new hollow inside...
(Will it be filled, or has my heart died?)
There are no answers...only lies...
Floating through misery, I struggle, try to breathe,
As I sit and watch new parts of me leave,
No idea what to do...No way to try...
I know there are no answers, only these lies.
(Is there any way to ask you why?)
There are no answers...only lies...
(That's life...)
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2004-10-16 16:48:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: No answers...only lies.
(User Rating: 1 )
by cuddlytiger17 on
Saturday, 16th October 2004 @ 05:19:45 PM AEST
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| The repetition of "There are no answers...only lies..." is great. It really gets your point across and accentuates the pain. I don't like the line "All I know is there is a new hollow inside..." though. It just doesnt seem to fit. And as for the ending, I think it'd be fine if you just left out "That's life..." and left it at There are no answers...only lies." :) |
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Re: No answers...only lies.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Saturday, 16th October 2004 @ 08:37:05 PM AEST
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The repetition of the refrain is nice. Who hasn't been lied to? Who can't relate? Who doesn't finally accept and move on? Then, the pain is assuaged. We each do that at our own pace though. Nice work.
Stitch |
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Re: No answers...only lies.
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 17th October 2004 @ 09:11:18 AM AEST
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I personally wouldn't change anything about this write, I hope one day you will find all the answers that you are looking for, *hugs*
takecare
pixie xx |
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Re: No answers...only lies.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Thursday, 21st October 2004 @ 01:17:27 AM AEST
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Oh Phil - terrific write. It.... tugs at the reader. yes... like Stitch implied - probably because is relatable (though - I didn't read it necessarily as having been "lied" to - but rather, the discover that what you thought was truth turned out to be an untruth).
I, too, like the repeated line. I might suggest one minor change to the end - not that it was "bad", just maybe - it could be 'stronger' somehow. I thought, perhaps, changing "No idea what to do... No way to try..." to "Feeling less and less inclined to try" might work. I'm not sure if that's exactly right rhythm-wise, but you get the idea.
I see a lot in this... I feel a lot as I read it. That, is awesome. Well done!
SNM
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Re: No answers...only lies.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 16th November 2004 @ 04:05:35 AM AEST
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Beautiful. Your poems are filled with such strength its astounding. You lay your words and emotions down so perfectly it makes me jealous lol. Again, thank you for sharing
Take Care
- Becca |
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Re: No answers...only lies.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 12:05:37 PM AEST
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| I like this very much and I have had similar feelings. Such a touching write, Phil. Hugs! |
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Re: No answers...only lies.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 28th February 2005 @ 10:14:57 PM AEST
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| i think the ending is fine the way it is. wasnt expected, and originality is never a bad thing in a piece. there was one problem i had in your piece. it was the fact that you rhymed the same word with the same word. just doing that seems to give me the impression that the writer lacks creativity and knowledge the english language, but i seriously doubt that in you. you so far havent ceased to amaze me with your talent, and i doubt that you could. |
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Re: No answers...only lies.
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Tuesday, 15th March 2005 @ 09:59:51 AM AEST
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Phil this was just incredible, you do write from the heart which makes you into such a wonderful compasionate person. I really liked this the thought and the emotions you poured into this was just outstanding.
Here's to more wonderful poetry for 2005
Hugs,
Jane |
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