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Removing Butterflies
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Saturday, 16th October 2004 @ 10:59:40 AM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
Tending to the whispers to ensure one day they might
I dance, butterfly encrusted, in the absence of the light
With wings too small to lift me up, I flutter helplessly
Until night’s voice beckons from deep inside the trees
And silently, the tiny, tiny fluttering, flustered one
Shall wallow there inside the dark until the night is done
Retrieving raindrops from puddles, tossing them back into the air
I soak myself in the nothingness that lingers here and there
Until hesitation swallows permanence and the madness rushes in
I lay upon the ground, away from you, and let the dream begin
And the lonely, little dreamer steps herself into the thought
Of everything that’s beautiful and everyone she’s not
Twisting simplicity into an ethereal distortion of emotional relief
I trap you, break you, snap you into pieces small enough to eat
I dine on you in the darkness, savoring every morsel as I go
And whisper the words quietly, knowing you will never know
And as the illusion takes hold of the foolish little girl
She travels ever onward into her distorted little world
Rising then, to sleepwalk, with you still somewhere deep inside
Forgetting all that I've ever known, that upon which I have relied
Beyond the point of no return, changing only to remain the same
I find the hidden answers and specify that which can’t be named
And the darkness becomes familiar, the dreamer has come home
She ventures even further into the night to find herself alone
Rushing through the trees, beyond the secret dreams of those
Who resolve to live as they desire but who don’t know what they chose
I shake off the butterflies, shouting defiantly "I don’t need you anymore!"
I pull their wings off one by one and scatter them upon the forest floor.
And the hopeless, little dreamer finds a new way to begin
Resolving to exist alone within the dark at the dream’s defeated end
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2004-10-16 10:59:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Removing Butterflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Saturday, 16th October 2004 @ 12:51:10 PM AEST
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Wow girl!!! This is uncredible!!! It's 'lovely' Heehee.
Seriously though, I adore this, truly. I can see every word in my mind. An it is such a perfect picture.
This is so different to your usual writes, but I love it just the same..
Keep up the great work hunni.
*goes to re read*
Phil xxx
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Re: Removing Butterflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Saturday, 16th October 2004 @ 01:01:53 PM AEST
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| beautiful..different..wow. |
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Re: Removing Butterflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Saturday, 16th October 2004 @ 01:38:27 PM AEST
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One of the most beautiffuly written poems
I've read recently.
A masterpiece.
--Mothy |
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Re: Removing Butterflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 16th October 2004 @ 03:34:42 PM AEST
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Beautiful!!
Jenni |
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Re: Removing Butterflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 16th October 2004 @ 07:34:31 PM AEST
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Wow, very interesting write.
I'd definently say the block is gone and u've come back strong and hard.
Awesome writing.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Removing Butterflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Sunday, 17th October 2004 @ 07:36:45 AM AEST
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If you'll allow a tiny bit of criticism, I'd tighten up some of your lines. There are places where there are a few too many words causing me to trip. On the other side, this is a fascinating exploration of the emotions and step one passes through in extrication from an entangled relationship. Anger is essential and that's expressed here. Also, there is the confessional sense that anyone who has ever felt human emotion can relate to. I can understand why this came fast and furious and dark. Oh, and that essence of loneliness that is the hallmark of facing what might be next in one's life. This is quite a step forward marked well in written form. BRAVO!
Stitch |
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Re: Removing Butterflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Sunday, 17th October 2004 @ 07:59:14 AM AEST
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Sometimes when the block gives way the ideas come so fast it's overwhelming. As always, this is a thought provoking write by a masterful poetess. There is such freedom in dream poetry because anything is possible.
I loved the visuals I got with this one .
Very well done my friend
Roses
Larry |
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Re: Removing Butterflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 17th October 2004 @ 09:18:08 AM AEST
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this is beautiful, really beautiful
pixie xx |
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Re: Removing Butterflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 17th October 2004 @ 11:42:46 AM AEST
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This is beautifully written, great title too, make a good title for a book of poetry,
Well done.
wildejohnny. |
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Re: Removing Butterflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Sunday, 17th October 2004 @ 02:36:49 PM AEST
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| you write with such longing for freedom and the futility that it will never come.......ahhhhh i know of this.....amazing write ....you've out done yourself..... |
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Re: Removing Butterflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Monday, 18th October 2004 @ 11:37:31 AM AEST
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"I shake off the butterflies, shouting defiantly "I don’t need you anymore!"
I pull their wings off one by one and scatter them upon the forest floor"
Just be sure theMoth hasn't alighted there upon you to rest weary wings. Lest he call down the Avenger on you.
Nazmythian ~ |
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Re: Removing Butterflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 31st May 2006 @ 03:17:17 AM AEST
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Wow, it is a tad dark! Sad and then defiantly hopeful. Your metaphors in this had me seeing everything you wrote!
Incredibly unique and exquisite.
I continue to find myself amazed and your awesomely wonderful talent.
Timber
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