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Broken heart
Contributed by
Archie
on
Friday, 15th October 2004 @ 04:05:27 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
They skipped my seat in the row again
"You're not as good as me"
"You spoke too much of God again
so we'll skip over thee"
I will not let it kill my joy
no matter what they do
for I know who I am inside
although my heart is blue.
The land of solatia is full of memories
that bring rage to the childish heart
from lumiosity
but I will not react like that although I have just cause
I'll break my idioms apart into a mighty song
I will stand beside the river
and I'll watch the bird o're head
I will soar high with him
over feelings of dark dread
and I will keep on writing
no matter what happens
I'll hide my broken heart away
For the shroud of the dark can be broken
pulled away like a black curtain
the icy cold of dark will melt away
Copyright ©
Archie
... [
2004-10-15 04:05:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Broken heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by yellow_sundragon on
Friday, 15th October 2004 @ 04:19:57 AM AEST
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Did God not say that his children would be cast out for their belief?
A good poem about a sad truth in life, would that it were not so....
Jaime |
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Re: Broken heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by 01_zanzebar on
Friday, 15th October 2004 @ 06:00:35 AM AEST
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A fantasic insight and great write there, my heart goes out to you. well put and very very true, unfortunatly. I have lost all beleif in a god now, such is impossible and the possibility of a heaven is also too out streched as well, we must make life as good as we can while we have it without squandering it away in some vein hope that theres some better afterlife. the best thing about the world is that its imperfect enough to make it enjoyable, would the perfect world satisfy, would it give us everything?
great stuff here
well done
- 01 - |
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Re: Broken heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stoney1 on
Friday, 15th October 2004 @ 06:33:08 AM AEST
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One of the things that can be said about an objective eye
is that it is easier see when a poem is finished.
Yours was finished after the 1st verse.
They skipped my seat in the row again
"You're not as good as me"
"You spoke too much of God again
so we'll skip over thee"
I will not let it kill my joy
no matter what they do
for I know who I am inside
although my heart is blue.
The rest simply detracts from the original.
Stoney |
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Re: Broken heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Friday, 15th October 2004 @ 06:33:41 AM AEST
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Archie, my friend, do not be disheartened by the rating of your poems or by comments received or not received. Write for yourself...sing for yourself... you have a gift....continue to use it...
Hugs
One of your biggest fans....
Jenni |
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Re: Broken heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Friday, 15th October 2004 @ 08:28:40 AM AEST
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| We all have some kind of talents.....some see more than others, and well you do have that. Write your feelings, and inner self.......what others think, or beleive, is just an opinion. Keep posting, and believe, in the number 1; YOURSELF.~ |
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Re: Broken heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Friday, 15th October 2004 @ 11:01:00 AM AEST
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| great write, once again. |
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Re: Broken heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Friday, 15th October 2004 @ 01:31:24 PM AEST
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Faith lies within onesself and belief also. I love your poems Archie sing away as loud as you can.
Keep on writing and stand tall from your second fan Jenni is first so i will be second!
Take care
Love Sweetangelukxxxx |
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Re: Broken heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 16th October 2004 @ 01:31:19 AM AEST
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you know archie, this is really so beautifully heartfelt, but my fav lines were:
and I will keep on writing
no matter what happens
because thats what we writers do, no matter what, writing is like the air we breathe, write to please you for the world needs your voice:)
hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Broken heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 18th October 2004 @ 09:43:24 PM AEST
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Wonderful Arch! Heartfelt and well-versed. You have a gift.
~Breezy |
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Re: Broken heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 02:20:28 AM AEST
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Hang tuff and keep up the great writing, my friend.
Look what they did to Jesus Christ. When one looks at that then our troubles seem so small.
luv, huggs, strength,
emy |
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