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Attempt at Fireflying
Contributed by
ShadowDaughter
on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 09:51:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
fairer I find fireflies than all the aurous amber skies
for bioluminescence leaves them often more than not
the skies with ever-golden glint are lit by golden lies--
to shine in ceaseless auric glow takes more than we have got.
--and I
will never write beautifully, I
should never have tried to and I
will never be beautiful, I
should never have tried to be
anything more than the best that I am,
so I
am discarding the beautiful, I
am becoming original, I
am finding myself in the
broken remains of the secondhand beauty I desperately tried to create--
fireflies that seldom glint still shimmer every now and then
and though they be not golden they illuminate the night
weaker than the sun, perhaps, but still it's brighter when
the fireflies dare have a shine their own--
and softly light.
Copyright ©
ShadowDaughter
... [
2004-10-12 21:51:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Attempt at Fireflying
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 09:53:18 PM AEST
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| let those other nerds know... I LIKE THIS ONE! GOOD WORK!! |
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Re: Attempt at Fireflying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cynthia on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 10:12:59 PM AEST
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| Nora, this is wonderful. Never let anybody bring your spirits down. You're a great poetess and don't ever forget it. *hugs* *S* Cynthia |
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Re: Attempt at Fireflying
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 10:21:57 PM AEST
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Well, I love the middle part. I like the rest less, possibly just because next to that blatant, raw emotion you know I love, they're so wishy washy and... whatever word means the opposite of straightforward. lol. The description is beautiful, but it's just not my thing as much as the middle part is. Overall, I think it's a great poem, but I still think personally for my little, impatient brain that the first stanza is a little on the wordy side. But all things considered, I really like it. Not one of my faves by you, but I still really like it.
Love always,
~ Dee |
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Re: Attempt at Fireflying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 10:33:07 PM AEST
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| good write. i liked the middle the best also. |
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Re: Attempt at Fireflying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dorian on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 11:00:21 PM AEST
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Repeat the following . . .
in this world, there may be one better than me,
and one worse than me, but absolutely no one,
quite like me . . . * * * * * * * * * * stars, 4 honesty,
and uniquieness, keep up the good work,
Dorian : ) |
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Re: Attempt at Fireflying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 11:51:00 PM AEST
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I acutally liked the whole poem, to me it flowed and had an awesome story quality to it, but hey if I am contradicting everyone then too bad, cant change the way I feel.
Cool poem. |
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Re: Attempt at Fireflying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ronald on
Wednesday, 13th October 2004 @ 12:45:44 AM AEST
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| This is what I call a great poetry! Great post! |
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Re: Attempt at Fireflying
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Wednesday, 13th October 2004 @ 11:02:38 AM AEST
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a very good write from start to finish. I dont see anything wrogn with this poem all your writes are trully amazing and your talent shines through your words,
pixie xx |
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Re: Attempt at Fireflying
(User Rating: 1 )
by afraid_of_fear on
Wednesday, 13th October 2004 @ 12:09:33 PM AEST
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Nora i love this. I struggled a little through the first stanza, but found it more of a challenge than anything else.
Beautiful write, keep it up :)
charlotte x_x_x |
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Re: Attempt at Fireflying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Carli on
Wednesday, 13th October 2004 @ 05:16:42 PM AEST
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| I love this poem! you make something people dimiss so suddenly, sound so amazing! :) |
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Re: Attempt at Fireflying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eve on
Friday, 15th October 2004 @ 10:30:02 PM AEST
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"and I
will never be beautiful, I
should never have tried to be
anything more than the best that I am,
so I
am discarding the beautiful"
Oooh, but I like it. I like it very much and I think it was one of those poems that had to come, because it was just something that was.
And the contrast between the 'wordy' stanzas and the blunt are nice. Think it creates something there, but I'm not sure what yet.
Keep writing,
-Gerty/Eve. |
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Re: Attempt at Fireflying
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Sunday, 31st October 2004 @ 06:10:37 AM AEST
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Nora hunni, I gotta disagree with your A/N. I love this.
I mean, I love how the style seems to change in the middle, but in such a way that it fits together perfectly.
This is very beautiful, I can relate to the middle and I can get lost in the fist and last part.
Amazing write hunni,
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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