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Crying

Contributed by afraid_of_fear on Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 01:37:17 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry



Bleeding until I drown in these bloody, raindrop tears
Soaked through to the skin, to the soul
I sit here crying for everything I can't remember I was
And you never came to hold me, to save me from myself

I heard her voice, and broke down into nothing; missing her, missing them
(And where were you?)
Drenched through; I let the heavens open upon me
And I hear them whisper down: 'you will never be welcome here'

I sob until I can no longer breathe
Until the passers-by become as invisible to me as I am to them
I let everything go (but still I wait for you)
And I miss her, I miss you, I miss them...

And I go on crying.




Copyright © afraid_of_fear ... [ 2004-10-12 13:37:17]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Crying (User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 01:41:19 PM AEST
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an emotional write, very well put together

pixie xx


Re: Crying (User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 01:58:57 PM AEST
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I can feel the pain in this one, very descriptive and the wordsmithing is lovely


Re: Crying (User Rating: 1 )
by n2dep2care on Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 02:22:32 PM AEST
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Very sad, and emotional write. Brought tears to my eyes. Wonderful!

Laurie


Re: Crying (User Rating: 1 )
by SkaterGirl16 on Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 02:39:06 PM AEST
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Wonderful job! Very emotional and well written.


Re: Crying (User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 08:08:57 PM AEST
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Oh, Charlotte, hon, this is amazingly beautiful and heartbreaking. I'm so sorry . . . I know way too well how you feel, and I'm so sorry, and you're not alone, whatever else.

These lines really hit me right in the face--

I sit here crying for everything I can't remember I was
And you never came to hold me, to save me from myself

I heard her voice, and broke down into nothing; missing her, missing them
(And where were you?)

*

I let everything go (but still I wait for you)
And I miss her, I miss you, I miss them...

And I go on crying.

*

Stay strong, hon. Awful as things can be, you're never alone.

--Nora


Re: Crying (User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on Friday, 15th October 2004 @ 03:23:15 PM AEST
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Wow... I'm not sure really what to say
although I enjoyed this immensely... it
seemed to end rather abruptly, but reading it
over not much more needed to be said. I am
forced to say that this was really good
(although I'm not sure how much force was
necessary lol). I really liked the first line really
drew me into the poem.

Bobo (Joel)


Re: Crying (User Rating: 1 )
by arden on Tuesday, 9th November 2004 @ 02:40:55 PM AEST
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wow char....
i can really relate to this. the feelings and the emotion, all of it i know to well.
like nora said you are not alone hun.
this is so breathtaking beautiful. you do amazing work girl. loved this. stay strong. :)
Becky




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