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A WORLD THAT I CREATED
Contributed by
destinyfate
on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 11:38:32 PM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
I sit alone in a world that I created.
A world that for awhile now I have hated.
No one but myself to blame for the mistakes.
Mistakes that I repeatedly make.
Staying so nevous or getting upset.
Not wanting to remember,despartlely wanting to forget.
Forget the love that I have lost.
Not remember the reason I now pay the cost.
Try not again to walk in the footprints I laid.
Trying to sleep in the bed that I made.
Copyright ©
destinyfate
... [
2004-10-11 23:38:32] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A WORLD THAT I CREATED
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rxqueen on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 06:27:01 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I really loved this poem. I can relate. It was definately a good write. |
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Re: A WORLD THAT I CREATED
(User Rating: 1 ) by Silent-No-More on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 09:41:59 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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*sigh*.... I think I know this feeling. Regret is a awful thing to have to live with... it seems impossible at times - but - there is always something better on the horizon. I suppose it just takes a while, sometimes, to get to it.
Welcome to YPDC! This is such a heartbreaking first post. I do hope you stick around and share some more of your work with us. AND... I do wish there are brighter days, brighter poems for you in the future.
Again... welcome. Thanks for sharing this with us,
SNM |
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Re: A WORLD THAT I CREATED
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 14th October 2004 @ 07:23:53 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Good rhymes, couplets. I used them for a while, but got bored and moved onto free-verse.
Anyway - nice first submission. - I'd make these lines shorter;
"No one but myself to blame for the mistakes."
"Not wanting to remember,despartlely wanting to forget."
It spoils the flow somewhat.
I bid you welcome and continue your contribution. |
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