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Last Vampire Down
Contributed by
Hurretje
on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 03:19:12 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
It feels so good, the cooler sand
In which my parched feet find their rest
It feels so right, the darker land
That soothes and slakes my burnt eyes best
O, can't you see this memory
Of what once gave me so much joy
Now only fees the misery
Of this exile in a place so coy
From the Sun I fled so long ago
No more than a word it means to me
In deepest darkness fades this glow
Of the shining love I felt for thee
No longer do I own the sky
When stars shine bright and no birds fly
My noisy companions hurt my ears
So used to silence all these stretching years
No longer do I own the grounds
That used to shiver with my sounds
They're full of neon quicksilver light
There is no more place for me to hide
As once I tasted your sweet blood
Right now it floods my veins like mud
It drags me in a higher trip
And dumps me in a drowning dip
No longer can I sail the Moon
Or can I find a place to stay
I know that it will be soon
That nighttime will be worse than day
More human than I've ever been
Since I took rest in my old tomb
I mourn, the last one of my kin
And I'll rejoice the dawn of Doom
Copyright ©
Hurretje
... [
2004-10-11 03:19:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 03:33:58 AM AEST
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woo spookie.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 04:41:27 AM AEST
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Tell me if you'd like an honest critique. At face value, I'll only tell you that if I were a vampire, I'd love the new nightlife that spread across the continent like wildfire; fearing only sunlight, and not candles, I'd think my pale complexion would look great under ultraviolet light. And with my charsima, and Transylvanian accent, and all those pretty ladies out in bars and dance clubs.... *grin*
Tempting. |
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 05:16:09 AM AEST
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very good had a beauty to it in a haunting sort of way I love it I do!
Michelle |
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 05:22:54 AM AEST
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| Written well with a flowing beauty, and crsytal clear images that awaken the mind to the worlds that are created through poetry such as this, awesome poem. |
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 05:53:13 AM AEST
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ohhh great stuff, I loved,
pixie xx |
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 08:19:18 AM AEST
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Very eerie, spooky, haunting piece. The imagery was great. In the second stanza, third line, is it feeds or feels? Either way it works, but inquiring minds want to know.lol
Kudos, Hur.
Thumps ; 0) |
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by Hurretje on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 08:29:38 AM AEST
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It must be feeds...
Hugs to everybody on this site,
Hur |
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cynthia on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 10:36:14 AM AEST
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| OOOOO This would make a fantastic Halloween poem. Excellent. *S* Cynthia |
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Wednesday, 13th October 2004 @ 02:42:27 AM AEST
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Vampire fantasy still contiues ..Though these reflect the dark side of human nature you are
able to make them read worthy nice poetic pieces.. venkat
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 13th October 2004 @ 08:39:43 AM AEST
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I'll take him on! Johnnys not scared of vampires no! no! no! i'm on my second bottle of red allready ( wine that is!)
Good work Hur, well presented.
wildejohnny. |
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Friday, 15th October 2004 @ 10:46:51 AM AEST
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Could almost feel sorry for this sad old guy...like his teeth have all been pulled out.
Makes me think of what addictions do to people.
Stitch |
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by Avarice_Riot on
Wednesday, 20th October 2004 @ 12:50:54 AM AEST
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| Nice...eerie but with an unmistakable touch of beauty in it. Especially loved the last verse...overall, I loved the concept of the vampire not actually enjoying his new status as a member of an undead as opposed to most others..well done, my friend, this is a great write. |
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 23rd October 2004 @ 07:43:32 PM AEST
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beautifully haunting..... hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by bernard on
Monday, 25th October 2004 @ 09:35:03 AM AEST
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This last verse says it all well done Hur Greetings and hugs from bernard.
More human than I've ever been
Since I took rest in my old tomb
I mourn, the last one of my kin
And I'll rejoice the dawn of Doom
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by wray on
Thursday, 6th January 2005 @ 04:25:37 AM AEST
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| Aw just when I thought I was completely sick of self-indulgent vampires... I really enjoyed this coz it seems to assign a kind of nobleness to the last vampire that's different from the usual bloodlustful power-tripping. Especially like the opening stanza :) |
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Sunday, 20th March 2005 @ 10:42:21 AM AEST
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Where have you gone...? *pouts*
I love this Hur, it's fantastic and some of the imagery is stunning...
Please come back and write tons more.
*hugs tight*
Phil xxx |
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Re: Last Vampire Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by crazy on
Saturday, 25th February 2006 @ 07:37:44 PM AEST
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aww this is so kool!
i loved it .you seem to like vamps a lot.dont worry i think vampires are suductive romantic and dark.this is such a kool poem |
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