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Picturesque
Contributed by
EternitysLyre
on
Saturday, 9th October 2004 @ 01:59:35 AM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
Embossed, encased in weighty frames and radiant edge to edge
An artist’s dreams so sweetly spilt across a snow-white slate
The coyest curl caresses lips as brushstroke whispers pledge
As once a penchant painter’s words did waft from passion’s plate
For while her timeless beauty sits upon the verdant hedge
And while her smile shall never fall and gaze not once abate
A tiny turquoise blemish tints the hand upon the ledge
Her locks cascading colors, every heaven’s hue of gold
Her shoulders sleek and gentle in all comeliness divined
Imbued upon the canvas with twin eyes to ne’er wax old
A gaze enflamed in spices from the inner soul’s refines
In silk and satins none can weave and jewelry none can mold
Glist’ning in an endless noon where sunlight seeps like wines
A damsel perches, glowing in a garden safe from cold
A vibrant hedgerow ‘round her form spells greenery to beset
Accentuating pearly skin and rosy cheeks naïve
So vividly the scen'ry seems of nature’s own palette
To unseen winds the maples bow and folds embrace her sleeves
A simple, silent moment which no real world could beget
In gentle slopes her fingers, svelte, stand out against the leaves
As though its tips were laced with but a faint hint of regret
Her slender arms delineate both senses, far and near
Falling to a poised wrist with one hand softly wrapped
The other drifting ‘long her shadow, details much more dear
Despite this maiden’s sanguine smile one hand lies not in lap
For on this canvas, luminous, on feature meets a sear
Both nuptial and beautiful one finger marks mishap:
On picturesque depiction lies a tiny, golden smear.
Copyright ©
EternitysLyre
... [
2004-10-09 01:59:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Picturesque
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Saturday, 9th October 2004 @ 02:51:28 AM AEST
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The simplicity of the title, albeit a befitting one, belies the genius and originality within. The first thing I noticed was the seven line stanzas-very different, but a great idea that is executed well. Of course, your rhymes are as sterling as ever, and the near-perfect rhythm makes this a pleasure to read quietly or aloud. Also, it should be said that the descriptions used are both amazingly original and poetically gorgeous:
"Her locks cascading colors, every heaven’s hue of gold
Her shoulders sleek and gentle in all comeliness divined
Imbued upon the canvas with twin eyes to ne’er wax old
A gaze enflamed in spices from the inner soul’s refines
In silk and satins none can weave and jewelry none can mold..."
I have no words for that, as it is beyond mere compliment. So i'll just say that this is majestic and beautiful, and all good things in between. Exceptionally well done, this leaves a huge, enduring impression in my mind.
Bound with shackles and thrown in an acid pool,
-V.S.
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Re: Picturesque
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Saturday, 9th October 2004 @ 09:44:22 PM AEST
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One of the many things that impress me about your writing is the fact that you arent afraid to take a chance with something new. This is another excellent write from your artistic pen my friend.
Very well done.
Barkeep!!
Larry |
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Re: Picturesque
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ronald on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 04:55:08 AM AEST
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| Wow!! What a poem!! Good desctription you have here. You're definitely a good poet! |
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Re: Picturesque
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 07:55:43 AM AEST
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What Ronald said. lol.
I was missing the triple-rhymes throughout each stanza because you had me engrossed. Enough said. |
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Re: Picturesque
(User Rating: 1 )
by neveryours on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 01:46:56 PM AEST
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You have a much better command of structured poetry than free verse. I liked this, and thought it flowed well. Description was excellent, and you chose your language well.
I thought it was a bit long - but original enough in its format to keep the reader.
okay! |
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