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Blood Flower: 8.5 - Tempest (revised & edited)
Contributed by
Nazmythian
on
Friday, 8th October 2004 @ 07:32:15 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I wish to extend an apology to any whom I may have offended.
The first posting of this piece of the Blood Flower series was ...
just a wee bit over the top. Any who wish to make that determination for
themselves, are welcome to PM me as I have saved it, and will pass it
along if so desired. That said ... this would then be part Eight ... (and 1/2)
I have seen evil
In its most raw and rarest of forms
I have served as witness to
The atrocities mankind is capable of
I have hunted with The Ripper
Overseen countless acts of vengeance
Though none have held candle
To her father’s repayment for her
Loss of innocence
She had listened
Her sister had recounted much
In the time I had given
She of course had harbored suspicions
But he was after all her father
She had tried so desperately not to see
Signs of inappropriateness
But the truth could not be concealed
Once illuminated
She was decided
He was questioned not, nor defended
He was certainly guilty
He would now face her viscous judgment
She had chosen a new name, Ivy
She sat upon his lap ringing my mark
With her new moniker
His chest began to ooze fluids from
Reopened wounds
Ivy stood, finished
Slapping his cheek as she did so
That regained his attention
She backed away a pace into the room
And seemed to struggle from within
Much she wished to say, but where to start?
She paced the floor before him
Disgust fought rage for purchase within
Her amber eyes
She began to speak…
“I’ve heard about your appetites, Father
How many have there been?
What number of fallen tears from eyes of those
Whom you have professed to love?
You have tainted everything you ever held
Remember, you once held me”
Ivy bade me untie one of his arms
She stepped in close
She caught his wrist
As he thrust out his hand toward her
The look on her face changed
“You dare to try and touch me even now?”
Rage won the inner struggle
One by one she laid back his fingers
Each one bending, stretching
They cracked at first, then broke with
A sickening pop
She beckoned to me
Wanting unbound his other arm
Slowly, I did as requested
As before, Ivy began folding fingers
He was still gagged
His screams were being muffled
She watched his hands
Fingers askew, quiver in his lap
For a moment
She was not finished
He frantically began to attempt escape
Flailing arms became a hindrance
Accompanied by two loud snaps they hung
Shoulders separated from sockets
She sat back and searched his eyes as
Tears stained his pasty cheeks
Then tenderly she cupped his head
Within her hands
She waited for him
To courageously meet her gaze
Then she began to press
Digging the nails of her fingers
Into the flesh of his face
She went not deep, just enough to cover
She wiggled her fingers
Finding purchase, then stripped the flesh
From his face
Ivy went to the washbasin
And cleansed the gore from her body
“I have no desire to feed of that
I want not any more of his blood within me
I wish to leave him here
Let him die, nameless and faceless
With none left to mourn
His passage from this pitiful life
Just leave him be.”
I stepped to her side
Assisting her where ever possible
But impeding her more
I pulled her lithe form against me
Our lips met in passion
The creature in the chair faded in and out
But his final images that night
Were of the daughter he had never had
Giving herself to me
And with this, I lay the Flower down for some much needed rest
Copyright ©
Nazmythian
... [
2004-10-08 19:32:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Blood Flower: 8.5 - Tempest (revised & edited)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 8th October 2004 @ 09:28:56 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| No offense taken from this side. The story line's a little...hmmm.. ah... can't think of a good word. But the writing of it is excellent. Cheers! |
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Re: Blood Flower: 8.5 - Tempest (revised & edited)
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Saturday, 9th October 2004 @ 06:21:27 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Sweet Scott, this write is still as beautiful as before... Ah, the flower has been finally put to rest. What a wonderful ending to this enchanting endeavor you have created! The flower has been freed, the enemy, defeated, and the lovers stay together forever! Simply perfect! I love this piece! Great job! Such passion anf hatred; excellent combination. My heart is soaring with a new freedom I have never had. I thank you once more for this, deaest Naz. You are incredibly talented; don't let anyone tell you different! All my love! Eternally yours,
Votre fleur |
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Re: Blood Flower: 8.5 - Tempest (revised & edited)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Saturday, 9th October 2004 @ 08:08:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Naz, The story seems so beautifully writen and with a graphic quality. Certainly an intense focus on retrobution .... if I am truly understanding the story.
Willofree |
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Re: Blood Flower: 8.5 - Tempest (revised & edited)
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Sunday, 10th October 2004 @ 04:11:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Nazzy, it's all good.
You're insane.
I hope it's contagious.
I'm pretty amazed
at what you're doing.
It's very original
and I have no idea
what's next.
--Mothy |
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Re: Blood Flower: 8.5 - Tempest (revised & edited)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ronald on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 05:14:31 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Wonderful story but not sure if I interpret it correctly though. Is it about a lady avenging his father for her sister because her sister was raped by the father?
Another thing I wanna ask, What does the candle in this context mean.
'Though none have held candle
To her father’s repayment for her
Loss of innocence'
I don't have a clue about that. Hope you can enlighten me...
I definitely love the story though I may not understand it 100% Great job! |
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Re: Blood Flower: 8.5 - Tempest (revised & edited)
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadreckoning1983 on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 06:50:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| naz screw these pig F-ers, the unedited version was better. i love what you are doing and that this a great story and a great controversy. thanks for all the great time spent reading. |
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