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Why was my Life taken Today
Contributed by
Irish
on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 04:21:48 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Standing in the crowd,
Afraid and alone,
Rain fallin from above,
Chilling to the bone.
A knife appears amongst the crowd,
Casting a ghastly beam,
But, alas, it is too late,
When he sees the darksteel gleam.
A gush of crimson blood,
From the wound begins to pour,
Slowly gently the victim falls,
To the concrete floor.
Traffic continues on the streets,
As if he wasn't there,
But as he bleeds his life away,
He asks why no one cares.
An angel decends from the sky,
To retrieve the wretched soul,
To take him away from this world,
To heaven, that is her goal.
She picks him up and flaps her wings,
And begins to take him away,
But still one thought crosses his mind,
"Why was my life taken today?"
Copyright ©
Irish
... [
2004-10-07 16:21:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Why was my Life taken Today
(User Rating: 1 )
by eatfresh22 on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 04:29:29 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I especially liked these lines:
Traffic continues on the streets,
As if he wasn't there,
But as he bleeds his life away,
He asks why no one cares.
I completely agree with you. I often feel like that too. Such a selfish world, that no one even bothers to look anymore. A rare few actually care. And life goes on....same as it always does. I really liked this one because I could relate to it. You did well at creating a picture in my mind too. Good job.
~Carrie~ |
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Re: Why was my Life taken Today
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 05:08:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
a very well written dark write,
pixie xx |
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Re: Why was my Life taken Today
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 05:42:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Very sad but written like a pro. good work.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Why was my Life taken Today
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 06:40:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| amazing write. well written. you presented this perfectly. |
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Re: Why was my Life taken Today
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mekare on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 09:22:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Impressive..just like the rest |
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