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She
Contributed by
_Nikki_
on
Sunday, 3rd October 2004 @ 11:19:23 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
Hidden emotions
Countless dreams
Tales of sins
And endless screams
Whispering yet whaling,
The walking undead
All of these antonyms go around in her head
What should she do?
Where should she go?
What should she say?
Should anyone know?
She cries to the stern yet shallow walls
Dropping descending as lower she crawls
All of her life living in dread
All her what ifs and all her in steads
She sees her own life playing backwards, reversed
She thinks she's now doomed to be mortally cursed
Yet wishing for things to be simpler, serene
She cries too loud for most people to hear
And then she'll surrender conducted by fear
Awake in the day and for half of the night
Thinking tomorrow is a costly lost fight
To whom should she weep?
For whom should she die?
All of these questions are hushed by her cry.
Copyright ©
_Nikki_
... [
2004-10-03 11:19:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: She
(User Rating: 1 )
by MickeyPigKnuckles on
Sunday, 3rd October 2004 @ 11:29:19 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| This is so meaningful and very well composed by a great poet. My hat is off to you and I admire your wonderful creative way with words of poetic art. Thank You for sharing your beautiful talents with all of us. Your Friend MickeyPigKnuckles :o) |
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Re: She
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Sunday, 3rd October 2004 @ 12:27:06 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Great poem. You showed and dealt with your emotions well in this poem |
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Re: She
(User Rating: 1 )
by SuicideParty on
Sunday, 3rd October 2004 @ 03:04:55 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
...wow. That was amazing.
~Sam |
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Re: She
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovesucks on
Sunday, 3rd October 2004 @ 10:12:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| oh my ..... I loved this from beginning to end. Excellent write |
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Re: She
(User Rating: 1 )
by tractorbabe on
Sunday, 3rd October 2004 @ 10:57:02 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| very deep very good |
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Re: She
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Monday, 4th October 2004 @ 03:42:50 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is so beautiful, i love it, you have so much talent! |
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Re: She
(User Rating: 1 )
by screwup on
Sunday, 10th October 2004 @ 01:22:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
AWESOME poem... I loved the way your words fit together to form a certain emotion to be felt... very interesting write.
~screwup |
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Re: She
(User Rating: 1 )
by Song_of_Sarah on
Wednesday, 29th December 2010 @ 09:51:05 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I liked the way the emotion builds throughout the poem. The phrases and thoughts become larger and more thought out as she progresses through her thought-process. I also liked the more subtle references to death within the obvious tone of dread. There is a sense of confusion and imminent danger, although we do not know what from. We also might believe, though, that she does not know exactly what endangers her, either. I feel a lot of this poem is about her trying to discover what it is that instills this dread in her. Very provoking, very nice. |
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