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.here.
Contributed by
xsadxeyesxtendxtoxliex
on
Friday, 1st October 2004 @ 10:36:37 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
here. my last lonely tear drop.
its all i have left to give to you
one lonely blood stained tear drop
seeping out from behind my eye
from deep inside
my bleeding heart
that does ntohgin but beat for you
take it.
its yours.
i want nothing left to remind
of the things i thought
and the lies i bought
or the love i sought
from you.
here. its your for the taking
it was yours in the making
and empty girl to call your own
and empty girl on her own
Copyright ©
xsadxeyesxtendxtoxliex
... [
2004-10-01 22:36:37] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: .here.
(User Rating: 1 ) by poetmarie on
Friday, 1st October 2004 @ 10:53:34 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I like the idea here, it has a good rhthym. |
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Re: .here.
(User Rating: 1 ) by Essentially9 on
Friday, 1st October 2004 @ 11:56:48 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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excellent write.
my favorite was,
"i want nothing left to remind
of the things i thought
and the lies i bought
or the love i sought
from you.
here. its your for the taking
it was yours in the making
and empty girl to call your own
and empty girl on her own"
i loved your write. the last to ands should be ans by the way. |
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Re: .here.
(User Rating: 1 ) by Willofree on
Saturday, 2nd October 2004 @ 08:06:46 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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An impressive write. The poem does a good job of communicating your feelings and where you stand on this issue. Sometimes when things are bad we forget that there are still good things in our life. There were a couple of grammer errors.
Good luck to you
Willofree |
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