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Paintings
Contributed by
smelting
on
Friday, 1st October 2004 @ 09:28:38 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
You keep living off of someone else
Your speaking out like someone else
Your looking like your someone else
Your acting like your someone else
Your living a painted life
Saying painted workds
Putting on a painted face
Acting out a painted heart
Your just living a painted life
Your tired out of trying so hard
Your board of being the same someone
All you can find is
A painted life
Painted words
Painted face
Painted heart
All you can find is your painted life
Your living a painting, the artistics of your painting
Put down that brush
Stop painting a life
Let life paint through
Copyright ©
smelting
... [
2004-10-01 21:28:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Paintings
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 1st October 2004 @ 09:33:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| interesting. nice concept. just too redundant. |
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Re: Paintings
(User Rating: 1 )
by Baronhawk on
Thursday, 2nd December 2004 @ 10:00:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I like the subject matter very much. This portrayal of life being led as if by a person subsumed in the 'painted' lies of this world. A fake person who knows not life on its own but by the enforced coloration of the painted vision. Living a lie of being not what you are but what you are perceived to be. Nice topic. But I must say that your structure and form leaves much to be desired. For such a good subject matter if you would just rework this to be in a more flowing and rhythmic form...I would say would make it better.Just my opinions but great topic though! |
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Re: Paintings
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Thursday, 2nd December 2004 @ 06:52:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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the subject you used is perfect awesome poem with a better message
Michelle |
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