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Reflection
Contributed by
free2you
on
Tuesday, 28th September 2004 @ 10:25:21 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
I see my image reflected in the bathroom mirror and ask,
" who is this"
My God, what have I become?"
Inarticulate tears, form in my blood shot eyes.
Once they sparkled with bright green mischief,
now they are muddy like a dirty river.
The puffy skin around them,
and the dark circles surrounding them
makes me look old and beaten by life.
The once lustrous, coppery red hair that was my
pride and joy is lifeless and drab.
Uncombed, and unkempt.
What would Robert say? Something appropriate
If he even recognized me.
I barely recognized
myself.
The weight gain..Good God.
No..It wasn't HIM. If it was,
there's nothing good about him.
How can sadness make me hungry? I don't get that...
I don't get that at all.
Perhaps if I were inclined to excercise more.
I am inclined..no that's REclined.
I've climbed down into this depression
and allowed myself
to get fat and comfortable.
Even let my nails go..
my legs are ..well shave 'em or braid em.
All because of a man..and low self esteem.
Laugh, go ahead; look at yourself and laugh.
Everyone else will.
Send in the clowns? Send in the clowns?
We already have one.
Look At Yourself.
Q: How many elephants can you get in a Volkswagon?
A: None if you're in there.
yes, by all means cry some more you stupid *****. That
helps. Easier than diet or excercise or picking up a comb.
You had some fight in you once..where did it go?
It had to make room for cookies and...
It isn't funny any more. I make fun of myself..
laugh as I think others do.
It doesn't hurt nearly as much when it comes from me.
I'm caught in a vortex of self-hate and I loathe it and loathe me.
I sit down and retch into the toilet..sobbing until I retch..dry heaves.
My shoulders hurt, from the wracking sobs.
I can't stop whatever the cycle is.
I was really taking care of my self for you.
I had a reason then. You left and took away my reason.
You took away my reason for everything..but eating.
God I want to die.
One thing's for sure I won't starve.
©free2you2004
Copyright ©
free2you
... [
2004-09-28 22:25:21] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Reflection
(User Rating: 1 ) by a_bear on
Tuesday, 28th September 2004 @ 11:05:17 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
|
We see the same reflection..lol.
sorry...I'm a bit on the nasty side tonight..
think I'll go to bed... |
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Re: Reflection
(User Rating: 1 ) by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 28th September 2004 @ 11:14:24 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i liked the part about the self loathe etc. really touched me on the personal level. |
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Re: Reflection
(User Rating: 1 ) by Bruce on
Wednesday, 29th September 2004 @ 08:53:29 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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bad reflection, straighten up and fly right. if u r able to write that well u r sure able to be the best u can. there r plenty others out there that can make u happy, so change your attitude and go get one; |
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Re: Reflection
(User Rating: 1 ) by slayer_015 on
Thursday, 30th September 2004 @ 11:05:23 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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You are a brilliant poet,this poem is teeming
with emotion.Now that that is said,let me tell you a secret.I once weighed 334lbs until I got so tired of myself that I "wanted to die".Then I changed it.I figured if I wanted to die so much I would die running or working out or something.Now two and a half years later and one hundred sixty pounds lighter,I can look in my mirror without being sick or hating myself.You can do anything you choose to do.You made yourself big,so make yourself small.All you have to do is decide and then act.It was a great poem though and I will stop preaching now.I wish you the best,and keep writing.You are very good at it. :)
Brian |
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