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Morning Sunrise
Contributed by
thief
on
Tuesday, 28th September 2004 @ 11:46:39 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
The streets, the parks, all empty and bare;
Where alone I stand and alone I stare.
I see shimmering drops of light reaching down towards young seeds;
It's as clear as the glimmer of dew on the weeds.
I realize I only have a short time to do the things on my list;
As I look beyond the meadows of the early morning mist.
The heat of the daily sun cast shadows of glistening rays;
Then the twinkles and flashes all soon fade away.
The wind across my face comes creeping;
Awakening me as if I were sleeping.
Over the distance fields and through the damp grass;
The unforgotten memories began to pass.
A tear falls from my eye;
The sun has now arisen in the sky.
by thief
Copyright ©
thief
... [
2004-09-28 11:46:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Morning Sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 28th September 2004 @ 12:17:04 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
ohhhh.... this is beautiful!! hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Morning Sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Tuesday, 28th September 2004 @ 12:18:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow a very powerful and you have used great images here to portray your write, I can see everything as you described it
pixie xx |
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Re: Morning Sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 28th September 2004 @ 05:31:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| excellent write. i was going to say you actually did a real rhyme scheme without the beginner mistakes but the last two verses werent =/ oh well you write in better format than i do, so i shouldnt complain =] very nice, and well presented. |
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Re: Morning Sunrise
(User Rating: 1 )
by thief on
Thursday, 30th September 2004 @ 10:54:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| You said you didn't like the last two lines, what would you change about them? |
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