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Low-Lived Highway

Contributed by stain on Monday, 27th September 2004 @ 08:21:22 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles



we're cruzin' at 140k and for once my soul keeps up

seemingly all of life's conflicts are littered over the highway in a trail behind us

for a few hours i'm able to convince myself i'm leaving the crazy haze to fade in the rear view mirror

how niave of me

bass rattles my insides, the stereo pumps silicone affirmations soon to be forgotten

there's a triumphant wannabe-goddess posed beside reminding me of my sisters of another lifetime and how we were eachothers souls

driven by the open road she accelerates into a different dimension, one where there's no braking and no limits

i push myself to follow, foolishly as i am buckled into the passenger seat

strange stumpy man with delinquent girlfriend makes up our beds

a gaze into his tired eyes reveals the lifestyle he might have led

nothing that i need

i'm appreciative but not interested, casual yet weary

immediately target girlfriend - hi you don't know me but i respect you immensely, look forward to being mates for a day or two

i preach the sisterhood

i speak of my feminine values as a borrowed religion

your boyfriend is talking to me while you sleep and my mates get heavy in the next room

a painful secret slips out in his drunken slur as i half-heartedly listen and nod

he gets suggestive, i withdraw

he accuses, i defend

he points out my traumas as if obvious to a stranger as i turn colder and angrier at myself for not covering the up thicker

i get offended, he goes to bed

the 40 watts die and the freedom of today can no longer be seen

the usual hauntings and lost lonliness creep up to strangle me

torments exaggerated by previously devoured cans of bundy and cola

he returns without clothing

towers over me, runs fingers lightly over my breast

paralysed, my subconscious screams danger alarms

my mind flees into disappearance

all conscious decisions evacuate

the demons inside me thirsting for chaos passion destruction and rage lead us out into the moonlight

spinning thoughts words grunts moans burst into flavour

obsure yet rhythmic undulations of mind and bodies

my demons are out to play, i'm back in my cage

its aged since i've last been remanded here

i'm not enjoying this

screen door slams, girlfriend screams, demons vanish

i'm spun

i'm back in my body again and sinking into shock

the demons that once destroyed me, that once held me so close to death are still lingering in my life

i thrash i scream i cry i long for escape from my fathers tormentors

words lies cries insults pleas assumptions defences are whirling around heads

inards churning with hate and regret

neighbours waking shouting complaints

and yet my soul is oblivious to the aftermath

it lies dorment in silent sorrow, in bleeding black knowing it is forever defeated

now knowing the true sense of running so hard and fast without a chance of finding any decent hiding spaces




Copyright © stain ... [ 2004-09-27 20:21:22]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Low-Lived Highway (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Monday, 27th September 2004 @ 09:08:50 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
powerful and intriguing.




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