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Fellowship with the dark
Contributed by
Archie
on
Sunday, 26th September 2004 @ 06:15:06 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
I get home from work as the sun goes down,
to make my fellowship with the dark.
Sleep comes slow no one's around
when I make my fellowship with the dark.
I must escape this place with the four walls pressing.
I must find a world with a glimspe refreshing.
All I know right now is my lonely heart.
and my fellowship in the very cold dark.
If you're reading this it might seem confusing
making rhyming schemes as a fuel for musing.
But it hides my tears in the cold harsh block,
as I fellowship in the very cold dark.
I must still sleep with the light on.
nightmares of my youth still haunt.
fear and rejection plague upon me,
yet they can't win when a song's in my heart.
Though I fear that people will condemn me.
I won't let that change my plans or schemes.
though it seems that no one cares about me
I will still help out the destitute in need.
And I hope they'll do what I did for them.
be a friend that's true to the very end.
Shed some light on me make the shadows end.
I don't want to live life in the darkness.
Copyright ©
Archie
... [
2004-09-26 18:15:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fellowship with the dark
(User Rating: 1 )
by Katie2008 on
Sunday, 26th September 2004 @ 07:29:29 PM AEST
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Amazing.....I love it. I'm sorry that you ever did feel that way, but I can definitely relate and you have a lot of talent!
Katie |
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Re: Fellowship with the dark
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Sunday, 26th September 2004 @ 08:51:37 PM AEST
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| I know this is virtual..and I'm not really there..but I'm there...so someone does care. I did a write awhile back about helping the homeless..in the hopes that someone would help my son ..who was homeless..you know pass on a kindness..from heart to heart? your poetry reminds me of that. great write.. |
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Re: Fellowship with the dark
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Sunday, 26th September 2004 @ 09:33:38 PM AEST
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| excellent write. very inspirational. |
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Re: Fellowship with the dark
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dorian on
Monday, 27th September 2004 @ 03:09:08 PM AEST
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Verry nice poem archie, keep up the fine writting
your heart is a well of expression . . .dorian : ) |
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Re: Fellowship with the dark
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Tuesday, 28th September 2004 @ 05:27:56 AM AEST
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Excellent poem
I can only describe it as visiting the
bermuda triangle easy to get in to but how do you find your way out.. A dark cloud ferments inside and it is so hard to reach the light.
You expressed this so well
Love Sweetangelukxxx |
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Re: Fellowship with the dark
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Thursday, 30th September 2004 @ 05:11:19 PM AEST
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Great poem, Archie... you have expressed your loneliness well..... Hope you get over it soon...
Hugs from your friend...
Jenni |
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Re: Fellowship with the dark
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kitty06 on
Wednesday, 10th August 2005 @ 10:08:20 AM AEST
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| I really liked how in the 9th and 10th lines in the first stanza you wrote about the reader reading the poem. That's always an interesting perspective to put into the poem. Your rhythm and flow was beautiful until the third stanza. It seemed it slowly started falling apart until the last three lines where it seemed like the poem tripped over itself. I think if you reword the last three lines it will help bring the poem back together. A poem without a strong ending can overshadow the overall feeling of the poem. |
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