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Slow Motion
Contributed by
Topgun
on
Monday, 20th September 2004 @ 07:07:21 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Slowly,
You look away.
Slowly,
You try to say,
That you're leaving today.
Slowly,
You pack your bags.
Slowly,
My good mood sags.
Slowly,
You get in your car.
Slowly,
You drive far.
Farther away from me
Is where you want to be.
So you drive away.
Slowly.
Copyright ©
Topgun
... [
2004-09-20 19:07:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Slow Motion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Pyrofungus on
Monday, 20th September 2004 @ 07:20:09 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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so sad...
please comment on my work too
summer |
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Re: Slow Motion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 20th September 2004 @ 09:11:18 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| great write. usually redudant use of one word annoys me, but your use of slowly didnt bother me because the rest of the write was so strong emotionally. well looks like one opportunity has been used, so now you have a hallway of opportunities open to you instead of just one door. |
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