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Salt Water
Contributed by
fionndruinne
on
Sunday, 19th September 2004 @ 09:07:34 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
Mist rolls over darkened hills
Rain-fraught clouds obscure the stars
Wind-whipped the water washes
Over my blind window.
Beyond the forsaken hills
The ocean thunders on the rocks
A place of beauty turned to turmoil
The salt-spray keen as ice.
Reflections are sad tonight
Dreams bring loneliness to mind
Memories beget only regrets -
The world is a weary place to walk.
Can you keep a candle burning
In a gale from the west?
Can a torch be bravely held aloft
In salt water spray like this?
Sometimes - now is such a time -
A sudden sight of golden sunlight
A summer draft of scented air
Could warm a heart beyond its ken.
A vision on the rolling waves
Of a soft green land stretching off
Away from fabled shores of pearl
Could make a heart begin to hope.
To walk the paths of Valimar
Just long enough to find again
A soul’s peace, a spirit’s strength
To carry on in darkened lands.
To wait for that, a forlorn charge
Yet waiting is a task set for me
Who cannot yet always see
The distant green of Heaven’s hills.
Copyright ©
fionndruinne
... [
2004-09-19 21:07:34]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Sunday, 19th September 2004 @ 09:24:29 PM AEST
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my goodness this was beautiful. A poem this
captivating is rarely seen this is a true gem
and I am glad that I stumbed across this.
"Memories beget only regrets"
That line is so true and i can relate to it so
much a beautiful piece once again. I loved it
all. *buys him a drink*
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 20th September 2004 @ 01:42:37 AM AEST
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Another classy poem, the whole structure of this work is simply outstanding.
wildejohnny. |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Monday, 20th September 2004 @ 04:57:22 PM AEST
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Yeah. Perfect as usual. Really good pictures, you know, the RAIN and all. It's nice and hot here. Hate you Andrew.
*buys him a ginger ale anyway*
Take care.
David |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Pyrofungus on
Monday, 20th September 2004 @ 06:52:50 PM AEST
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wow...amazing...
please comment on my work too
summer |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Monday, 20th September 2004 @ 07:22:04 PM AEST
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beautiful poem. I enjoy the lushness of the pastoral scene you painted.
Em |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tanmaya on
Tuesday, 21st September 2004 @ 06:18:42 AM AEST
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This is absolutely enchanting. And perfect.
I think every line is just what it has to be.
There's a shining light behind all your words, that's full of glory, courage and truth.
Thanks for this one, it's brilliant. |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 11:47:35 AM AEST
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Wow Andrew.
This has to be one of my favourites of yours.
I don't know...it's just a beautiful poem, with some amazing images thrown in.
But it's more the feeling of the poem that i love...It seems lonely somehow.
Absolutley beautiful..
I have missed your poems.
*hugs lots*
Phil xxx |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by eatfresh22 on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 02:21:09 PM AEST
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Nicely done, Andrew. I totally understand and relate. -Sad Poetry- coming from my ever optimistic friend? Wow. No, but it did end on a trusting, optimistic, hopeful note. This world is a discouraging place to live, and I'm glad I have other warriors such as yourself to battle through it with. Nicely done, Andrew, nicely done.
~Carrie~ |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Thursday, 23rd September 2004 @ 12:50:37 AM AEST
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Oh Andrew! I absolutely echo the other comments here. I agree with Phil - the word 'lonely' comes to mind as I read this. And Joel is dead on in pointing to that incredible line.
This piece leaves me aching. It is a beautiful, quiet, self reflecting piece that just tugs at me. Thank you so much for sharing this... I was truly touched by it.
Lost in your words,
SNM |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Hurretje on
Thursday, 23rd September 2004 @ 03:05:04 AM AEST
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Wonderful. Your poetry tells of a forgotten realm... Dreamy and full of images of lost times.
I enjoyed to read this.
Hugs,
Hur |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Saturday, 25th September 2004 @ 10:58:47 AM AEST
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| This poem is striking. You have a keen sense and respect for nature it shows in your writing. |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Elena on
Saturday, 25th September 2004 @ 02:20:26 PM AEST
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Like seeing heaven dimly through a foggy window... Enticing piece.
E |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Sunday, 26th September 2004 @ 11:44:48 PM AEST
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Andrew when I read your lovely poetry, and take a trip with you, I never know where I'm going and how I will end up, but the journey is always so interesting and sometimes mysterious, , and the picture's I see in my Mind's Eye make it all sublime!
You are a word master and a lovely painter of images.......Your paint brush is your imaginative mind.......and the colors you entertwine are magnificent! Thank you so much for sharing your art!
lovingcritters
ConSued |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 28th September 2004 @ 09:12:09 PM AEST
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really beautiful andrew, hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Sunday, 3rd October 2004 @ 06:59:52 PM AEST
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I cant say more than these god peole have already said......outstanding poetry my friend.
Very well done Barkeep!!
Larry |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Sunday, 3rd October 2004 @ 06:59:57 PM AEST
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I cant say more than these good peole have already said......outstanding poetry my friend.
Very well done Barkeep!!
Larry |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Sunday, 3rd October 2004 @ 07:00:03 PM AEST
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I cant say more than these good peole have already said......outstanding poetry my friend.
Very well done Barkeep!!
Larry |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by valentine on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 04:29:25 PM AEST
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This poem is outstanding ; All i desire is escapism and this stole me to another world. So gracefully spun like weaving magic.
Beautiful.
~*~ Valentine ~*~
.. . .Rose. |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Friday, 8th October 2004 @ 04:26:44 PM AEST
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So different for you and so lovely. It evokes such images mixed with universal feelings of regret and isolation. Really very nice.
Stitch |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by thewordzwithin on
Thursday, 14th October 2004 @ 03:14:38 PM AEST
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| Great job. We need more people like you out there. Great message and love your style. Very unique. You remind me of my english teacher. He wrote about things like this. I wonder if you like "Toliken" also? We both loved everything Toliken wrote. I have some original artwork from the reprinted version of "The Hobbit" from somewhere in the late 60's early 70's. I can't remember. My teacher gave it to me. Oh well sorry to lag, but great job. Can't wait to read more. Holla Front!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Tuesday, 26th October 2004 @ 10:23:35 AM AEST
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As I was reading this I realized I haven't seen you on here in a very long time.
I thought the font you chose really made this poem shine, stand out. The wording and flow was very beautiful. It had a feel of lonliness, expressed elegantly.
Kie |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 02:13:19 AM AEST
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very nice, this is one of your first that ive read, and ive enjoyed it.. you captured the forsaken feeling of the world well, but i was pleased that you could bring it back around to goodness once again. mercy triumphs over judgement!
also, thanks for your encouraging comments..
joshua |
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Saturday, 6th August 2005 @ 09:21:15 PM AEST
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"A vision on the rolling waves
Of a soft green land stretching off
Away from fabled shores of pearl
Could make a heart begin to hope."
this to me.. these words..
are most brilliant-
like fench cooking, this stanza.
Simple and profound.
Splendid-
(I'm at home in your work)
B
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Re: Salt Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 17th June 2006 @ 06:26:34 AM AEST
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I, of course, live for the darkened hills,
the ocean spray, the rain-fraughtclouds..
however I feel myself living in your lines
so skillfully and heartilly written.. |
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