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To Feel a Beat
Contributed by
wachumiri
on
Saturday, 18th September 2004 @ 03:57:29 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
The touch of love
From up above
Is your embrace
So filled with grace
You wrap your arms
About me so
Your smile, your eyes
Just seem to glow
There is a flame
Within my breast
You seem to claim
And make it rest
You're what I sought
To capture me
But when you caught
You set me free
And when we touch
Just, oh so much
I feel a beat
From heart so sweet
Copyright ©
wachumiri
... [
2004-09-18 15:57:29]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: To Feel a Beat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Overstated on
Saturday, 18th September 2004 @ 05:34:16 PM AEST
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| a lovely poem consistant all the way thru - excellent piece truely beautiful |
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Re: To Feel a Beat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 20th September 2004 @ 07:15:18 PM AEST
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"Just, oh so much"???
Argh! What dunce put that line in??? It stinks!
Otherwise, pretty good piece. Worded well.
Another comment by the soul of poetry. |
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Re: To Feel a Beat
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Monday, 20th September 2004 @ 07:44:32 PM AEST
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David.....
Don't confine yourself to rhyming. Then your poems won't come out so hollow and artificial, full of cliches. Don't try and encompass what's in your heart with rhyming catch prhases. You can do better than this. Let it flow and be natural.
Spoken in love,
Em |
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Re: To Feel a Beat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tanmaya on
Tuesday, 21st September 2004 @ 06:38:29 AM AEST
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Sounds sweet...straight from the heart.
Like you could put a lilting tune to it.
'You're what I sought
To capture me
But when you caught
You set me free.'
I liked those lines.
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Re: To Feel a Beat
(User Rating: 1 )
by eatfresh22 on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 10:58:57 PM AEST
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A heart so sweet...awe...you're so sweet. I wish the intensity of a gaze would hold as much as
when we touch
Maybe it does...what do I know, I'm just a kid.
~Carrie~ |
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Re: To Feel a Beat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 23rd September 2004 @ 02:31:41 AM AEST
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you really do love her don't you? nice work again straight from the heart.
wildejohnny. |
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Re: To Feel a Beat
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Wednesday, 6th October 2004 @ 10:04:52 PM AEST
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all i can say is "Awwwwwww"
thats so sweet.
again
"Awwwwwww" lol
great piece.
5 stars
Arden |
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Re: To Feel a Beat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lovingangel4u on
Wednesday, 10th November 2004 @ 05:58:49 AM AEST
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Another lovely written an so heart felt poem. I can see ur love coming thro into your words, simply beautiful.
TakeCare
Lovingangel4u |
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Re: To Feel a Beat
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostwithoutyou on
Monday, 15th August 2005 @ 06:30:49 PM AEST
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| This one is really sweet. good write. |
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Re: To Feel a Beat
(User Rating: 1 )
by anitajames on
Monday, 19th September 2005 @ 10:29:53 AM AEST
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But when you caught
You set me free
I think of true love when I read this. True love doesn't bind you to another, it frees you to be your best together. Well said and written, as usual. |
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Re: To Feel a Beat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 08:41:41 AM AEST
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Your loving words that speak straight from the heart. An enjoyable write as always dearest David.
*hugs*
Sue |
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