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I’m a mass of dead flesh, so I can’t rest!

Contributed by deathdrop on Saturday, 18th September 2004 @ 03:54:46 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

I am hurting so bad today.
I can’t kid my-self,
It’ll all be OK,
‘Coz this world’s still playing games!

I fell out with sue,
Shouted the house down.
Ran up to my room,
And slit until a crimson puddle grew…

I wanted to die,
But my tool was too blunt.
So instead I just cried.
Until I coughed out lumps…

Today was ok.
Went to town with Cat.
… And when I had to come home,
I didn’t want to go back.
To have to take so more slack,
To turn me black.
No thanks!
… But still I had to do that…

I got in the door,
Feeling numb.
No words express it.
I was just all blunt,
Numbed up…
Down in the dumps.

Don’t ask me why.
I don’t need reasons some times…
I just break inside.
Even if it goes well in my life…

I broke…
And swore at her.
She called me mouthy.
I felt like dirt.
I screamed.
I was so hurt.
So ran up to my room,
And had my self-harm, out burst…

What is there, that I’m worth?
Why was I placed upon this earth?
Why was my tool too blunt?
It really bled,
And I really hurt,
But yet… no needs were met.
So I guess,
I’m as dead as I’ll get…
Because I’m so damaged inside my head.
That I can’t heal,
‘Coz I’m already dead…
So my arms are nothing,
But a crimson mass of torn flesh.
But nothing that serious.
To help me leave this mess…
I’m just a nothing,
But an “IT” crying on her bed.
‘Coz there’s fearful voices,
Trapped inside her head!

Copyright Â© deathdrop ... [ 2004-09-18 15:54:46]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: I’m a mass of dead flesh, so I can’t rest! (User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on Saturday, 18th September 2004 @ 04:35:43 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

been exactly there..well my tool was sharp enough but they brke the door down before i could bleed out.. then i cried till I retched..didn't want to go home either but had no choice...feels miserable I know...your words capture it well..very well...wish it wasn't like that for you though because I know how it feels and I don't want anyone to feel like that...

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