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Torture
Contributed by
liquidsunshine
on
Thursday, 16th September 2004 @ 06:36:38 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
A toddler girl's head bobs up and she screams
And again she is gone in the deep blues and greens
When a man in blue jeans and a grey flannel shirt
Jumps right in, brings her out, her lungs flood and they squirt
And she cries cause she's scared and it's happened before
Like those two other times she had hit the pool floor
As she grows she becomes a girl with a fear
And in gym class she says no water year after year
Cause the smell of chlorine wrings tears from her soul
And she shakes and she cries and she screams and she's cold
Her nose starts to burn and the snot's in her throat
And it happens again at the lake in a boat
But her husband insists that she'll come to no harm
With his calm warm embrace and his sweet perfect charm
But somehow the boat came to turn and to toss
And so starts wherefore she now grieves this great loss
See her fear hadn't taught her to float or to swim
And so she remains now and owes it to him
Cause he's off dead and gone in the depths of the lake
now the thought of him brings her to sieze and to quake
She wears only blues, blacks and greenish, cold grey
As a mem'ry to keep in her mind of that day
When she looks at her closet the tears wring out fast
So this fear shall remain until breath greets her last
Copyright ©
liquidsunshine
... [
2004-09-16 06:36:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Torture
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 16th September 2004 @ 07:01:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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awww this is a very sad and emotional write, very powerful words,
pixie xx |
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Re: Torture
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovesucks on
Thursday, 16th September 2004 @ 11:46:32 AM AEST
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| very powerful I read the rest of your work great job. Keep writing.....Theresa |
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Re: Torture
(User Rating: 1 )
by lifefliesby on
Thursday, 16th September 2004 @ 05:10:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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it's a great right but it scares ME to know how much you're scared of water
GREAT write though(I don't think I ever comment on poems in person... ? sorry)
Love Jared |
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Re: Torture
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Saturday, 18th September 2004 @ 09:56:13 AM AEST
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Woah, what a story! That's cool how her own fear comes back to bite her in the end. Good thinking. I see the seeds of an excellent short story here.
Stitch |
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Re: Torture
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 18th September 2004 @ 10:49:54 AM AEST
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My partner is scared of water (me i'm scared of nothing totally fearless! joke!) peoples phobias are very real and should be treated with understanding.
you bought out the reality of feeling afraid really well in this poem well done.
wildejohnny. |
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Re: Torture
(User Rating: 1 )
by eatfresh22 on
Friday, 24th September 2004 @ 03:52:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Sad display of fear you had in this poem. I liked how you talked about the color of the clothes she wears. You have such a gift of incorporating every day life into all of your poems in an indiscreet way. You always amaze me. Great job.
~Carrie~ |
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