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From the Valley
Contributed by
Hurretje
on
Wednesday, 15th September 2004 @ 03:37:45 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Nothing more than this shade of black
After this merciless attack
An unheard gasp crushed in thin air
Defenses down as I lie bear
Without sound, the mute sea lashes
My soul besieged with foul ashes,
Numb survivors of damned cultures
Under which I cry for vultures
Yet afar echoes a sound
Lost and cold, just nowhere bound
From the grinding of the Beast
In his soul devouring feast
As my cries begin to crumble
And my bones begin to tumble
Down below even darker stairs
Into the depths where no-one cares
Limbo opens with a crack
Please, give my oblivion back
It's the last god I can cherish
When that's taken, I will perish
Copyright ©
Hurretje
... [
2004-09-15 03:37:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: From the Valley
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Wednesday, 15th September 2004 @ 04:21:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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very good write, well expressed
pixie xx |
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Re: From the Valley
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 15th September 2004 @ 04:51:26 AM AEST
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Not a triology after all! good or else you would'nt have come out with an excellent piece such as this.
wildejohnny. |
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Re: From the Valley
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent_Composer on
Wednesday, 15th September 2004 @ 05:43:15 AM AEST
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Was well written ,such imagination, each word a combined force that draws a reader in, emotions enough to chain a person to the end, Awesome write.
~Silence~ |
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Re: From the Valley
(User Rating: 1 )
by Hurretje on
Wednesday, 15th September 2004 @ 05:49:25 AM AEST
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It must be
Defences down as I lie bare
It's a shame I cannot change it in the poem itself...
Hur |
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Re: From the Valley
(User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on
Wednesday, 15th September 2004 @ 06:42:46 AM AEST
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Excellent write,Hur! When you have finished the last, I want to go back and read them consecutively. Kudos! (((HUR)))
Thumps ; 0) |
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Re: From the Valley
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Wednesday, 15th September 2004 @ 09:47:53 AM AEST
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My first thoughts upon reading this poem was simply---"Where do you get your inspiration from?" If it is a well-- please direct me to its location!
Really good poem, well composed.
Kie |
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Re: From the Valley
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 23rd September 2004 @ 01:40:16 AM AEST
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This is a tremendous piece, friend Hur. The rhyme was excellent, and responsible for bringing out a couple of the best images, methinks, such as:
Numb survivors of damned cultures
Under which I cry for vultures
Epic and truly excellent. Your poetry is a joy to read.
Slàn
Andrew |
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