|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
clouds of smoke
Contributed by
Rae
on
Monday, 13th September 2004 @ 08:29:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
two-fold.
you're better off without me.
you can't take me with you.
it's a deep sadness.
it's a thought i'll
be contemplating
for a year.
it'll be one of those moments
when i look up to the sky
and lose my head
with the breeze
of passing opportunities.
sadly, for me, i'm
one of these people.
-rae'04. 091004. Friday.
Copyright ©
Rae
... [
2004-09-13 20:29:04] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: clouds of smoke
(User Rating: 1 ) by TheSchroedmeister on
Monday, 13th September 2004 @ 08:35:41 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I really appreciate your choice of punctuation; it adds a matter-of-factly, very stimulating, and altogether cohesive effect to the work.
I hope the reader finds his/her place in that "breeze of passing opportunities", as I'm sure the reader is well deserving of it.
Great job again, look forward to more |
|
|
|