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In my shell
Contributed by
Dragontear27
on
Friday, 10th September 2004 @ 09:02:44 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
This anger kept inside is driving you to hate
and i have to hold it in because it's your fate
to be nice to everyone and everything
but it's hard to fly so high with a broken wing
because when everyone brings you down
the cries of your own soul will be the last sound
you hear before you realise that life is a game
and everything you try to do turns out the same
most things seem to go in the wrong direction
and you try to hide inside your shell for your own protection
so when things go from bad to worse where do you go
you inflict pain on yourself because that's all that you know
so why dont you just stop and let it all out
instead of taking it out out on yourself and wandering about
not knowing what you're doing to those around you
so get outta your shell and stop acting so blue.
Copyright ©
Dragontear27
... [
2004-09-10 21:02:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In my shell
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 10th September 2004 @ 09:47:04 PM AEST
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a Message)
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ill try... well even though you didnt write this about me, it just seemed to be written for me. just one of those writes i guess. ::shrugs::
i loved this one because of your rhyme and flow with the concept. powerful write with emotion. keep up the good work. =] |
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Re: In my shell
(User Rating: 1 )
by AspenGlow on
Saturday, 11th September 2004 @ 02:10:17 AM AEST
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Very good poem, excellent message.
Thank you for sharing. |
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Re: In my shell
(User Rating: 1 )
by Aquaelius on
Thursday, 16th September 2004 @ 08:17:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Hey, I like the fact of the reflecting, and in a way the make up and flow, the origanization of the poem i think that it kinda actually describes you. It's a little stuttered, angry stutter... like it wants to flow, but its confused. I think you have a point, but it seems confused the idea in the writing. I think that this really could be some relfecting. Maybe by taking the same poem, and restructuring it, you might be able to find some new about yourself... maybe even help yourself.
Anyway just a thought. |
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